Cold feet isn’t something that happens just in the movies, it happens in real life--actually more than you think.
It’s not extraordinary for someone to wake up a few months, weeks, or even days (or the day of, yikes!) before their wedding and realize, “Oh my goodness, I am about to say 'I Do' to a person who is not right for me at all.” Sometimes that’s just because you did a good job of ignoring your gut for a very long time. Maybe wedding planning was so stressful you saw an ugly side to your hubby or wife-to-be.
So if you’re finding yourself looking for a way out of walking down the aisle and kissing hello a pricey annulment or lengthy divorce later on, here are five things you can do if you’re about to marry the wrong person.
1. Sounds simple, but breathe
If you already have a hint that you’re feeling wrong about what you are about to do, give yourself a hug and take a deep breath. You’ve already taken a giant step toward admitting there’s a problem. Now you’re ready to take baby steps toward a solution that won’t leave you feeling too embarrassed and won’t have your soon-to-be ex-significant other feeling heartbroken for life.
2. Talk to a stranger
Chat with anybody about this, whether it’s your therapist, your trusty best friend, or a stranger on a park bench. But a stranger is likely to give you the best advice over anyone else you know. That’s because they can be ultra honest and even extra wise about what you should really do, because they have zero stakes in the situation – lucky them, right?
3. Figure out an escape plan
taking that honeymoon you planned, alone, because you’ll need the time away to clear your head and start planning how to start over.
4. Come clean
The best thing to do and probably the hardest thing to do is to come clean to your fiancé and let that person know you have your doubts. There is a chance they’ll feel the same and you two can hold hands and back out of this whole thing together. There’s also a chance they will be shocked, and if they are, realize that you two were on different pages this whole time anyway.
5. Go through with it
Your final option is to not do anything about it and marry this wrong person. You can divorce at anytime, for a somewhat hefty fee, and it happens all the time. It doesn’t make you cowardly to walk down that aisle, but it may make you have to work overtime to not roll your eyes the whole entire time.
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