What To Do When Your Best Friend's Boyfriend Hits On You?

It's a sticky situation that noone wants to be on the receiving end of. 

Khloé Kardashian’s relationship with French Montana was going strong back in 2014. That is until he broke a cardinal rule between girlfriends. French started sending Khloe’s best friend Malika Haqq flirty text messages. Luckily, the loyal Malika wasn't having any of it.

According to reports, Malika not only told Khloé about French’s dirty deed, but she actually showed her the messages. Tensions played out on Keeping Up With the Kardashians as Khloé tried to maintain a friendly connection with her ex, but Malika was visibly bothered by Khloe’s actions.

Malika did the right thing, says Dr. Darcy Sterling, Relationship Skills Boot Camp co-founder and host of Famously Single.

“That's not your secret to keep. And if you keep quiet, you give him permission to either continue doing it to you, or to someone else,” she says. 

Why would French, or any guy for that matter, cross such a delicate line between friendship and romance? It’s “an act of anger.”

“It's very passive-aggressive, and an absolute loser move,” Dr. Darcy declares. She explains that the guy or gal who does it “feels powerless in some aspect of their life, probably within their relationship. And instead of grabbing their balls/ovaries and addressing their anger, they act out.” 

It’s one crappy coping mechanism, Dr. Darcy adds.

Marilyn, 31, from New Jersey, has also been in this awkward position. Her best friend Amanda and Amanda’s boyfriend Dan had a massive fight. That's the only reason she said hi to him when she saw him in a bar in their hometown of Morristown, N.J.  “I thought he’d be a sobbing mess saying how he couldn't go on without her, which I could go back and report.”

But that wasn’t the case. 

“He was laughing and having a great night, knocking back beer after beer. He leaned in close and said, well I can't repeat exactly what words he used, but suggested we go home together for the night.”

Shocked by his actions, Marilyn told him off. "I asked him what kind of friend he thought I was that I would hook up with my best friend’s man, even if they were on a break. I told him he was an awful person who didn't deserve her.”

Dr. Darcy says that Marilyn did the right thing. “You should tell them that what they're doing is repulsive and that you're absolutely going to tell your friend,” she advises.

Unlike Malika, Marilyn never told her friend what went down. Three weeks later, Amanda and her boyfriend were back together. 

"I figured it was a serious lapse in judgement on his part, and my words had a resounding effect on him,” Marilyn explains. “At least I hope they did.”

Dr. Darcy says that not telling a friend can be detrimental

“If your friend doesn't find out, there's no reason for his or her significant other to question what they're doing,” she explains. Which means they may do it again. 

And keeping it to yourself can have a dire consequences on your friendship, Dr. Darcy warns: “If your friend ever finds out that you didn't tell her, you can kiss that friendship goodbye.”

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Khloe Kardashian Relationships

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