Beyond Bravo

Yes, Nightmare Blind Dates Still Exist, Here Are Some Horror Stories

You can dig online all you want, sometimes you're just not getting what you were promised.

It doesn’t seem possible that blind dates can exist in the technology age, but they do. Maybe people like the element of surprise and don’t look up everything about the person prior to meeting them for a drink. Or, the person just isn't anything like what you were told.

Here are some Redditors who had nightmare blind dates, and lived to tell the tale. 

“Once went on a date with a guy from work (bad idea) who took me to Dave and Busters, for one (an arcade, for those who dont know...) During the meal, he said all of the following: ‘I have a short attention span and cant date a single girl for over 3 months.’ ‘I want to become a professional video game player.’ ‘I want to train to be a professional eater.’ and I don’t want to work a day in my life. I just want to play paintball.’ He was 23 years old, and I was 20. Even I knew this was childish nonsense. Later on at the movie, he asked if i would pay for our tickets because he ran out of money on our $25 dinner at the arcade.”

One guy wrote about a date who wasn’t so smart when it came to...evolution. 

“I once went on a date with a girl and this is how the conversation went. Her: ‘So whats your favorite book?’ Me: ‘Tough, but when I was little I LOVED Jurassic Park’ Her: ‘Yuck, Jurassic Park.’ Me: ‘The book or the movie? EVERYBODY loves Jurassic Park!’ Her: ‘I don't believe in dinosaurs.’ Me: ‘Fossils?!??!??!’ Her: ‘I don't want to get into it but I think fossils are bulls**t.’ I ended the conversation there and held onto the night. Until later on she told me, ‘I don't believe in outer space’ and my head exploded.”

Another woman had a problem with telling the truth—even when it came to her name. Oh, and she didn’t like utensils.

“I chatted a girl up online for about a week or so, and things went pretty well, so we decided to meet up. I asked her out for dinner, and said that if things went alright we'd go grab a drink,” wrote another guy. “Let's just say her photo didn't match her appearance. Her excuse was that she had a crazy ex that was stalking her, so she used her sister's photo and name. HER NAME!!! SHE LIED ABOUT HER NAME! Anyway, come to find out through our ‘interview’ that she was an only child. She didn't catch her slip up, but I sure did. She rambled on and on and on about crap I really couldn't have cared less about.Then came the food. The waitress may as well have brought it out in a trough, as this woman didn't use her utensils. Did I mention we were at a steak restaurant? That's right folks, she picked her steak up and ate it with her hands. Let's not even get into the potatoes. It was the worst date of my life.”

Another guy was set up with a girl who was gay. 

“I got set up with the daughter of one of my parents' friends. I wasn't really looking forward to it, but I was on break from college, and she apparently went to school not far from me, so it wasn't like a lost-cause summer romance type thing. They showed me pictures and said nice things about her,” he wrote. “I picked her up from her parent's place (we were both home for the summer) and was a little surprised by how pretty she was; the pictures had been from when she was in high school, and didn't do her justice. The date was dinner and a movie. Dinner went really well; we had a lot in common, she was very grounded and down-to-earth, cared about the environment. If I have a type, she was it. So as we're walking to the movie theater, I slipped my arm around her waist. She pushed me away and got all serious. ‘I’m really sorry, because you seem like a nice guy, but ... I'm a lesbian. I just went out with you to make my parents happy.’ Sitting through The Chronicles of Narnia with her was the most awkward two hours of my life.”

One OKCupid user gave his date a major migraine. 

“I was talking to a girl on OKCupid. Things were going pretty well and we decided to to get together. I was on a budget because I was saving to move out of the country, so I suggested as local Thai place which had $0.25 cent beers with an entrée, figuring the food was pretty decent and the cheap beer wouldn't hurt,” he wrote. “I offered to pick her up but she declined, which is completely respectable. The night of the date I'm running about 5 minutes late and feeling a bit rushed when I get a call from her. Even though I gave her an exact address in an easy to find place in town, she's having trouble getting there. She ends up calling me back 6-7 times in the next 45 minutes as she tries to find her way there, no advice I could give was helping this girl. By this point I've already been there over 30 minutes minutes and am on the way through my first beer. Red flags about how incompetent this girl must be are going crazy, but I'm already on the ride…I walk outside and a few minutes later she pulls up. First of all, this girl was not as advertised…I'm not someone who needs the perfect girl, but I'm telling you this was out of control. I climb into the drivers seat and the first thing I say his how weird it is. I tell her I haven't driven anything but a manual in three years and her automatic feels very strange…I let off the gas and instinctively go to push in the clutch. Instead, I stomped the brake. Hard. This girl had quite a lot of mass, and wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Any physics student knows what happened next. Her head flies forward and nails the dashboard. I start apologizing like crazy, and luckily she wasn't hurt. We spent the next hour having a really awkward dinner and then parted ways. No, we didn't call each other.”

One guy’s date refuse dot speak to him the entire dinner and was stuck to her cell phone. 

“I was set up with a friend of my roommate's girlfriend,” he wrote. “Let's call the date ‘Lisa’ and lets call the roomy's girfriend ‘Karen.’ I knew what she looked like, so I knew there was an attraction but I had never spoken with her. We met outside of the restaurant and Lisa was on her cell phone. I figured it must of been important, but as we walked in and waited for the table she kept talking about stupid crap, clearly on the phone with a BFF about nonsense. She gets off the phone, doesn't apologize and we get seated…Two minutes later her phone rings again and it is the same ‘OMG, No Way!’ crap conversation. The waitress comes over and we order drinks...while she is still on the phone and I twiddle my thumbs. The drinks come, Lisa is still on the phone.... I'm halfway done my drink and have waved the waitress off once already because Lisa is still on the phone. Finally about 20 minutes into it I quietly stand up, take $20 out of my wallet and walk out without saying a word. As I'm walking out I see Lisa's eyes widen to the size of dinner plates, her mouth open wide and her face turning red in embarrassment (all of the surrounding tables had seen what transpired and were whispering to themselves about it.)

And a setup gone wrong:

“I met a couple through a mutual friend and we hang out for a bit one night, have a decent time. I spend a couple days afterward texting back and forth with the wife of the couple, thinking hey, new friend. She eventually starts talking up this friend of hers, Gary, and it is clear she wants to set us up on a date,” wrote one woman. “Okay, I think, I'm newly single again after five years of bad relationship, we'll see how this goes. She describes him as ‘football player build.’ Not being a sports person, does not occur to me I should have asked her to clarify (would he be a quarterback or lineman, for instance.) Anyhow, I meet Gary for coffee downtown. Suffice it to say he is a substantial man. But I think hey, I'm not perfect either, I'll give him a shot. We have an okay time over coffee, talking about regular random small talk topics. He walks me back to my place, but the night is still young and he suggests hanging out and watching some Futurama. So I invite him up. As soon as we are sitting down, he starts talking about his ex and all the drama she brought into his life, and it slowly comes to light that they may not be actually broken up, he is just ‘seeing what else is out there.’”

She eventually escaped to the bathroom, where, she says, she faked an illness stop get out of the date.

One guy actually did get sick on the date.

“About nine years ago I was bored and unsure where to meet new people after ending a four year relationship, so I decided to give online dating a try,” another woman writes. “Eventually I start emailing this awesome guy, his messages are laced with genuine wit and charm. He's good looking. He's smart, well educated and makes me laugh. Everything seems fantastic and eventually we meet at a coffee shop.He looks even better than his photo. Score. He has a great smile and is as tall as he said he was. Everything was super amazing great. As we sit at the coffee shop we make small talk and I notice he is starting to sweat. Not a little nervous sweat, but I-just-ran-a-marathon-sweat. I ask him if he's just worked out to make conversation and he spends the next hour detailing all of his mental health and medical problems including his glandular problems, explosive temper, anxiety and jealousy.

“He looks around nervously and mentions that his ex has a restraining order against him and that he's afraid she just walked by the coffee shop. He asks me to meet him a few blocks away so he doesn't get arrested. I just gathered up my bag, walked straight to my car and drove away without even a goodbye.”

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