They say that all marriages are tested at the seven-year mark. They even made a movie about it. But is that just the notions of a Hollywood screenplay, or a real occurrence?
“It’s real,” declares Evelyn, 42. Married for 15 years, the Camden, N.J., stay-at-home mom confesses that eight years ago, her marriage almost came to a close.
"We married in our late twenties, and it all seemed to be on the right track,” she says. Their first few years flew by as the couple jumped into into creating their life together—buying a home, starting a business and having a child. And then things turned sour.
"Our business dissolved and our daughter was at the age where she was in school all day. For a while, we were home together, alone,” Evelyn says. That’s when she started to realize their marriage was out of sync.
"We just didn't have much to say to one another," she confesses. "And when he did speak to me, it would just just annoy me."
When her husband found a new job, the fantasies began.
“I actually wanted him to go out and have an affair, so I wouldn't have to deal with him,” she recalls.
Sadly, Evelyn plans to divorce her husband once her daughter finishes high school.
Sameera Sullivan, CEO of Lasting Connections, Matchmaking for the Elite (http://www.lastingconnections.net/) says the ennui that sabotages relationships several years in is indeed something to be recognized. And it can start as early as year two.
“You're past the honeymoon stage and starting to see that you’re not really right for each other,” she explains. “You’re living different lives and the passion is gone.” Sameera theorizes that some couples try working on the marriage for the next few years to make it better, up until around the seven year mark, but the damage has already been done.
What you can do to prevent the seven-year itch from happening? “Make sure that you're with the right person in the first place,” Sameera suggests. “After you get married, a lot of things change. It’s important that you really know the person you're getting married to — that you are really good friends so you have great communication and can keep the passion alive.”
Sameera says that includes scheduling dates for yourselves and being affectionate with one another on a daily basis.
“And remember to be playful and find things you love to do together,” she declares. “That’s what keeps love alive.”
Alice, 49, who’s been married to Ken for 20 years, agrees. They never experienced the seven-year itch because they followed three simple rules.
“Treat every opportunity to be together like a date,” shares the NYC fashion designer. “Find your common areas and keep pursuing them. And intimacy is everything. Please note this last one is about more than sex. It’s physical, emotional and sheer proximity that counts.”
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