Circus Freak

Episode 1: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor laments that lack of live animals at parties today.

Hello there Co. I'm just going to call you the Co. because aren't we all a part of it? We're all part of the Roblé revolution. At least I hope so. Let's all come along on this catering carnival with him shall we?

First off, how precious is Mr. Ali? He's not making food for any particular zipcode (which is good because I eating food that hyper-local is way too Portlandia for my taste). He's going to create amazing parties with his sister and all their wackadoo friends. It's going to be great!

All Eyes on Me at the Center of the Ring. . .
Roblé's first client is Kerry, who wants her 25th birthday party to be ridiculous. She's thinking circus-themed (unfortunately not Britney Spears "Circus"-themed), but what she actually has in mind is carnival. She wants it to be scary "a little bit," which I believe puts it at Lady Gaga video-level as obossed to Saw-themed.

But what's most terrifying is her list of demands. No green food, tequila just for her (she doesn't care what other people drink), K's drizzled on every bite (thankfully that was axed right off the bat), and a monkey. I understand the last request because I have never had a birthday party without a monkey. Without one what's the point? Sans simian friend, it's just a small dinner.

And so the gang gets to work. . . meaning Shawn tried on corsets for the circus performers to wear.

I Heart Artie. . .and Really I Mean Everyone
The Co. itself is filled with the splendid sort of folks you can't help but love. I find myself incredible entranced by Ché Gravy, to start. He's just like a giant teddy bear of a sauce maker. He loves uptown girls and downtown chicks equally. He's going to be a dad. He rapped with Roblé.

Of course I love Jasmine's spunky personality. I think she's going to give Mr. Ali a bit more guff than he bargained for. Same for Kiku, any chick that rocks a pink hoop and a different earring while baking is A-OK in my book. Then there's obviously Shawn, who is going to out out fierce everybody on the planet. I'd love it if there could be some scenario where he and Miss J have to have some of catwalk-off. I will admit that D'Andre's hatred of cheese made me a little confused (how can that even be possible?!?), but I'm sure he's great. And of course, sweet, sweet Adam. Why did he tell that girl it was better than kissing a fish head? Why are you kissing a fish heads? Is that how lonely you are? Because I know plenty of ladies who could remedy that problem for you (beardy nerds are so now).

But here's how Artie climbed to the top spot in my heart -- he's a mooch. Sure, he's good at his job, but he's also really, really good at eating well. I too would be in the kitchen trying to sneak eats. Did anyone else notice him eating cake by himself in the corner in the middle of the Roblé/Jasmine bust up. It's always best in the midst of a major argument to just hide and eat cake. Stay out of it. Keep calm and eat cake, Artie.

There's No Crying in Catering
Let’s talk about cake incident. You can't blame Jasmine for trying to pull together a cake together for the client. Girl was deluged with ridiculous requests for monkeys and whatnot and this seemed like an easy enough thing to whip together than having the Central Park Zoo delivered. Of course, it was a crazy last minute request, but that's kind of how the business is going to be. She probably should have consulted Roblé, because she probably should start thinking of him as her boss. But maybe Roblé could have been a little nicer, particularly when she came in to try to get the cake for the singing. . . yipes! Someone did need to take her outside and give her a hug, but that's the sort of statement that's best said in a whisper. He should have knocked the cake out of Artie's hand and had him handle it.

In the end Kerry just threw the cake everywhere so it was really all for naught. And the monkey did make it. (He looked just like Marcel from Friends. Cosmo, his name, might even be related to Marcel from Friends. I'm not sure how long monkeys live or how professional monkeys get discovered. Is it a family business?) But here's hoping  Roblé and Jas can let cooler heads prevail next time, or there are going to be a lot of tear-stained cakes in their future.

Next week's episode is super epic -- Kandi Burruss and Matisyahu. I know, how did we already get so lucky?

But what are your thoughts on the first episode? Leave your musings in the comments.

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