Fun With Sorbet

Episode 2:'s Associate Editor ponders what's more fun, sorbet or sex toys?

Welcome back foodie fans.

This week Roblé dazzled us with not one but two amazing guests -- The Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kandi Burruss and Hassidic rapper Matisyahu. As someone who probably listened to "King Without a Crown" roughly 200 times during college, I was pretty excited about the second, particularly since I was super curious to see how Bleezie handled the myriad restrictions the 'Ya (is that his nickname, or would it just be Mat?) had. Also, how can you not be excited about a Kandi sex toy party? Let's recap.

Fun with Sorbet
So Roblé meets with Matisyahu and perhaps fibs a bit about his mastery of kosher food. Couple that with Ya's mother-in-law's numerous requests, and this party is going to be a doozie. A rabbi will be on hand at all times, as though this is a brisk (or some other religious event) to ensure the food's kosher (and also vegan, but that's just Matisyahu's choice). And Matisyahu has never had a party before, so don't ruin his first time at bat Bleezie. (That fact made me super sad. Have parties people! Parties are the best!) Don't fret, "We can have fun with sorbet." Can we Matisyahu? Can we?

And so the Rabbi-fication of Roblé’s meal begins. Roblé mentions that the load in to the kitchen is tougher than customs, and I agree with him and Adam. It was one body scan away from a trip to Paris via JFK. He can't even turn on the fire as a man not of the cloth! The mint must be watched individually. Then the kosher rental company's plates aren't exactly kosher -- as their coverd in hair. I had a major chuckle over the castara about "human DNA on all these plates," since obviously if tiny mint bugs aren't kosher these plates are not even close to cutting it.

But, after some plastic plates saved the day, the party was on point. I'm doing to have dreams about that mushroom salad for weeks. A kosher wine fight even erupts (for his first party this got cray pretty quick). They even pick Jasmine up in the chair. Good times!

No Sex in the Family Room
To break from the post-party download for a second, let's discuss sex toys -- surely to the chagrin of Roblé and Ché Gravy. I can't blame Roblé for maybe not wanting to hear about Jasmine's adventures in the land of battery-operated delights, but seriously these dudes were freaked.

I particularly appreciate Che's dissertation on what vibrators can't do for you. Why do I feel like he could be slipping little sheets of paper printed with that manifesto into all of the gift bags before this party is over? "Who you gonna talk to?!" And seeing how excited Kiku was when she finally got her gift bag was incredible. Who knows if she'll ever make it to work again.

A Fluster Cluck
Anyway, the Co. gets underway planning Kandi's party (even if Adam is more familiar with Fender guitars, classic rock, and aquariums). Adam apparently has a soul food background (obviously he's so soulful in his little shorts and flops), so he can prepares to make the collard greens of his life. I already trust him because he brought Roblé and Kiku to Gorilla Coffee, which is right near my apartment and delicious. If you're in the 'hood try the maple latte. However, be warned that the coffee smell in that place is intense. I've ruined many a bottle of water going in there and finding it has a strong odor of caffeine after leaving.

The food at this shindig looked particuarly ridiculous. Maybe it was because I'm Southern, or maybe it is just because I'm a meat eater with eyes, but I don't think I've wanted to eat something as badly as I've wanted to eat that duck mac and cheese in a long time. Then Roblé had some sexy peach push pops that were the perfect accompaniment to a burlesque dancer, even if Kandi hated it. . .

Yeah she didn't exactly love that burlesque dancer. As Shawn remarked, "this was on unhappy Housewife." You can't blame Jazz for wanting to find the a performance that "empowered woman" but that's not exactly Kandi's scene. Next time find a man that doesn't just "flap his ding-dong around" and maybe you'll please your client a little more. Jazz should have read the reservations in Kandi's face initially and held off, but hey you live and learn.

But the rest of the party was perfect -– especially since the waiters took their shirts off -- and since Adam's collards were worthy of Kandi's props. Yes, after letting "Situation Marination" do its thing, Adam's collards were a success. Adam was blushing a little bit. It just proves that those nerds can come out from behind the aquarium and learn something at any time.

Monday (yes, Monday, December 12) is another new episode with none other than Vanessa Williams! We decided not to make you wait, because we care!

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Artie: "Roble is My Client, Not My Boss"

Artie Thompson reflects on his relationships with Roble and Jasmine. Chrissy Teigen and John Legend! What were you thinking when you heard they were the clients?
Artie Thompson: I am a big fan of John Legend. I have been following for years. Chrissy, not so much. Lovely girl! You seemed a bit checked out during the first meeting with Chrissy and John. What happened?
AT: I was still waiting to speak to Roble after he walked out on me from the last event, Deuces. I was trying to remain professional, yet concerned since we had not spoken. You and Roble had a talk where you realized you had to make the decision not to be the boss this time. What was that like for you?
AT: I had a Come to Jesus moment when I realized I do not have to fight this battle with Roble as I do have my own company, Artie's Events Inc., and I am the boss there. Ultimately, I am still running the show whether Roble agrees with me or not. I don't like it when Roble tries to rub it to my face that the company is called Roble & Co. I don't work for Roble -- I work with Roble. Roble is my client, not my boss. That's the difference! Things really came to a head when Roble told you how to arrange the tables in the room. Were you ready to give up at that point?
AT: Whether Roble wants the tables to the right or to the left, it does not make a difference. I am still pulling all the parties together. Bottom line: it is Roble & Co., not Artie's Events. At the end of the day, you try to tolerate your client as much as you can without jeopardizing the event. And truly, it did not matter to me how the tables were arranged. You really didn't seem to want Shawn dressed up as a crab. Did you have a different vision for the party?
AT: No -- I think that Shawn has been labeled the party favor a little too much, and he needs to find a different position in the company -- as a waiter, as a Captain, or whatever. I think it's time for Shawn to grow out of it and hold a more responsible role in the company. Jasmine seemed to be a peacekeeper this week, even though you two have had your problems this season. Was that helpful for you?
AT: Jasmine understood the communication problems I had with Roble as she has also gone through it. That was helpful to be able to get my frustrations out with her. I want everybody to know I have a very good relationship with Jasmine. We have difference of opinions, but I really do like her as a person. But, at the end of the day Jasmine is still Roble's sister, and she is going to side with him. You and Roble ultimately make up and you seem to decide to stay on. How did you make your ultimate decision?
AT: The decision really hasn't been made, but I do feel that I am part of the team at Roble & Co. Roble gives me my space to run the front of the house -- pull things together at events. Ultimately, I do want to see Roble & Co. grow as a major catering company in New York. There is a lot to do different and better as a young company with so much potential. And I am here to support. How do you think the party went?
AT: Overall, I thought it was a wonderful party. We had a little drama. The staff was attentive and Chrissy and John really enjoyed themselves. Anything you'd like to add about the whole season? 
AT: What do I say to that? Ah, where do I start? I am going to have to say that I am glad that our fans got to see the growing pains of the company, the interaction between front of the house and the back of the house. After being in the business for so many years, you think you have seen it all, but Chef Roble & Co. have left me speechless in many ways, in a good way... I think. Any updates you'd like to give post season-wrap?
AT: I am working a lot with Roble, locally in New York and out-of-state. I also manage to devote my time to A2 Collections, my new bow tie line and Artie's Events Inc. Things are going well! 

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