Courtney: "The Botox wasn't Intended to Offend Her"

Courtney dishes on the blowout with her bestie.

"Is change always a good thing?"

Change…

As a woman who always has my career in mind, it’s inevitable. And in this episode, we see that change in my life is on the horizon -- and not always in the good way.

My career is really blooming, and I couldn't be happier. Thank God Matt is finally behind me, and I am looking forward at the new changes that are happening for me: The blog is beginning to really gain some momentum, the collection with Bauble Bar is locked down, my assistant is working really hard for me, and an additional new job as a morning talk show host is in the works. I AM BUSY, AND I AM HAPPY.

But I must admit, I have never been good at balancing it all.

In my perfect world, everything would seamlessly come together: I would find a rhythm between all of my commitments and no part of my life would get neglected…but that's easier said than done!

In this episode, we see a major change happening in my relationship with Tori, and unfortunately it was a change that I never saw coming. During this time in my life, I was SO OVERWHELMED. There weren't enough hours in the day. I was saying "yes" to everything: "Yes, I will be a blogger. Yes, I will host a morning talk show. Yes, I will do a jewelry collaboration with Bauble Bar. And, yes, Tori, I will throw your birthday party." I truly believed I could handle it all.

When I took Tori for "Birthday Shopping" and "Birthday Botox," I truly thought that was going to be fun for her. We love to shop, we love to pamper ourselves, and so I genuinely thought she would enjoy those moments of me treating her to them… And honestly, the botox wasn't intended to offend her. Most gals with a wrinkle or 2 would love to get rid of that frown, right?!

Unfortunately, this photo shoot with Casey, an LA based photographer, had been scheduled for months, and it happened to fall on the night of Tori's birthday party. He was in town for one day, and I wanted to take advantage of it. In my mind, we would shoot some pictures that morning and early afternoon, and then I would meet up with Tori and the girls in time for the party that night. Sounds like a plan, right?But Tori wasn't having it, and quite frankly, I was shocked…and here's why: Tori had always been the friend who was 100% supportive of my career. She understood that it came before anything else…and I mean ANYTHING. So I realistically believed that she would understand that this photo shoot was work and that it was one of those things I couldn't change, but that I was sorry.

Never in million years though did I expect Tori to let me have it and use my work against me when she came to see me at the photo shoot. I was furious that she had the audacity to scream and yell at me when I was in the middle of working. I understand where she was coming from looking back at the situation, but I still don't think that it was the appropriate time or place to have that conversation. But when she opened that can of worms, IT WAS ON. At that moment, I knew our relationship had changed somehow…somewhere along the line she changed from supporting my career to using it against me…and how could I fix it?!

 

And let me tell you, it gets uglier before it gets better… Be sure to stay tuned for the season finale of "Courtney Loves Dallas" next Thursday to see how it all goes down with my best friend, Tori!

P.S. Don't forget all of my looks from each show can be found on my blog TheCourtneyKerr.com!

xo,
Court

 

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Meeting the Fake Matt

Courtney dishes on her bizarre dinner with Matt.

"Love Can Make You Crazy"

I should've listened to their advice. I should've trusted that my friends saw something in Matt that was enough to warrant a red flag.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda…right? Isn't hind-sight when it comes to your exes always 20/20? It certainly is…but apparently Matt and I never had a relationship.

Going into this dinner with him, I really wanted answers. That's ultimately the only reason I agreed to go in the first place. I wanted him to tell me why he disappeared. I wanted him to look me in the eyes and tell me that what we had was real. I wanted him to look me in the eyes and explain his side of the story. But I never could have been prepared for how he made me feel like this whole relationship was made up in my head.

Sitting at this dinner was like sitting across from a person I had never met. Yes, there were moments in the evening that I caught glimpses of the man I used to know: The man who was my best friend for a long time, the man who I had spent hours and hours laughing and talking with, the man who I had put on a pedestal, and the man who I use to be in love with. But now, all I saw was someone who was fake…someone who I barely knew anymore, and who barely knew me. It was bizarre.

And strangely, in that moment when he said we had "nothing," yes, a part of me was saddened, but a part of me was relieved. I finally saw the part of Matt that I had been warned about…he finally showed me his true colors. And that's the only answer I needed in that moment. I could've yelled at him, called him a bastard, and asked him to explain his reasoning, but we would have just gone round and round in circles. It was done. He and I were done and I was emotionally drained, and all I could do was get up and walk away from him…forever.

But in a surprising twist, he came after me. The old Courtney would've turned around and listened to Matt, but the new Courtney… Well, I have too much self-respect now to let myself voluntarily get treated that way by someone who said he loved me. And you will have to wait another week to see how it eventually all went down…

 

In other news, I was so excited to add an intern, Shannon, to my growing brand! You will see much more of her in the next couple episodes and be able to see how our relationship evolves. She is definitely my right hand gal when it comes to work, and Shannon still works for me as my assistant to this day!

See y'all next week (I promise the Matt thing is almost over!) as me and my best friends take a road trip…and I almost get arrested! And don't forget, for all my looks from this episode (and more!), go to www.thecourtneykerr.com!

xo,
CK