Cast Blog: #DONTBETARDY

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Wigs and Hers

Steroids and Wine

The Real Kim

Wigless in Atlanta

Painted Love

Heart of the Matter

Writer's Block

Don't Be Tardy for the Potty

Dog in a Wig!

I am Me

Training Day

The Incredible Journey

There Goes Your Social Life

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Episode 3: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor wants to book an appointment with Psychic Rose.

Kim's in-laws are from rural Montana. Kim is one of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. This is obviously a recipe for mayhem, and lucky for all of us, the cameras were rolling the whole time. Let's take a look at how Kim handled the Biermann invasion. (Spoiler: It involved cigarettes, wine, and pizza.)

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Is there a Psychic Rose waiting list, and can I get on it? This woman seems to be the real deal, and I could always use some life guidance. Rose has predicted both of Kim's kids with Kroy, and she just gives off really good vibes. Sort of like if your grandmother doled out predictions (rather than judgments and Worther's Originals).

But this time Rose had some not great news about Kim's in-laws. To put it bluntly, they don't want Kroy to marry Kim. What?! Do they not realize how great this will be? Christmas' spent listening to Tardy for the Mistletoe, Kim dressed as Mrs. Claus, holiday wigs. But OK, maybe they just need some convincing since they've only met Kim once. And Kim is determined to win them over, so perhaps this is one premonition of Rose's that won't come true.

Pizza Party!

How many members of the Zolciak-Biermann household does it take to warm up a pizza? Well it was definitely a group effort due the the missing pizza stone. But luckily after a few moments of clattering noises and still no stone, Kim put her McGyver wig on and came up with a solution -- throw it on top of an upside down cookie sheet. Kim is nothing if not a problem solver.

However I had a few questions about this scene:

1. Why not just put the pizza directly on the rack?
2. It looked like a delivery pizza, so why was it cold?
3. Was one pizza really enough for all of these people?
4. Most importantly -- Why was no one eating pizza when we cut to their dinner?

Perhaps the upside down cookie sheet idea didn't pan out quite so well. But to be fair, Kim's made it clear that she's not a cook by any means.

Buzz-Worthy

Leave it to Kim to find some sort of miracle non-surgical facelift. And of course it involves odd face paint and the plastic surgeon rubbing her with a strange (electrical?) apparatus. Because none of Kim's wonder cures are ever free from some manner of embarrassment.

And Jen's along for the ride, which brightens any scene. And given we're coming off a season full of Bedroom Kandi, Kim and Jen can't help but make vibrator jokes about the doctor's, well, vibrator. Was that thing really manufactured for the sole purpose of distracting patients from pain? I'm skeptical as to the effectiveness of that thing, but whatever works.

O Mother, Where Art Thou?

In her continued attempt to win over the Biermann brood, Kim calls in her trusty stylist, Shun, to bring in some mother-appropriate dresses for Kathy and her own mother, Karen. Kathy was a good sport, but something tells me she was a bit put off at first by Shun's funky style. But once she got to scope out the styles, she was sold. Except for the "cleavage," which quite frankly I didn't see, but sure, raise that neckline and add a dickey if you like.

But oh wait, what happened to Karen? Evidently she got caught up putting on deodorant. What? How hot was it that day? In any event, Karen never showed and just wanted Kim to send her pictures of the dress options. That's no fun! Hopefully she didn't come in person because of the deodorant crisis and not because she was still irritated from their first foray into dress shopping. 

Next week Kim's mom takes it too far when she threatens not to come to the wedding. You know it's bad if Kroy has to get involved.

The Real Kim

Kim's glad you got to see her real hair, but she's not giving up her wigs any time soon.

WOW! Big episode! Let's get right to it.

My best friend Jen has ALWAYS remained behind the scenes in my "public" life, yet she has been very involved for over 12 years in my "personal" life. It never crossed my mind that she might be uncomfortable being in the forefront as my matron of honor. When Jen stopped showing up for things and calling, I wasn't sure what to think. I was so hurt. Her email couldn't have come at a better time. Here I am the day before my wedding sick as hell with a high fever, congestion, ugh. As I read her email it all made sense. I felt awful that I put her in that position, and she didn't have the heart to tell me. I was also devastated my very best friend wouldn't be standing up next to me on my big day, however Jen said it best, "I will give up my matron of honor title, but NOT my best friend title." The reason Jen and I have such a great friendship is because we always communicate. Good friends are hard to come by, and I am so blessed and thankful to have her in my life.

The big reveal What did you guys think? YES IT IS ALL MY HAIR! No clip ins, no extensions. I did have it blown out that day as I do everyday before I put my wig on, but IT IS ALL MINE. I love my wigs, I love how easy they are. You just put them on and go, you can chose straight hair, curly hair, whatever I am feeling for the day. I do not do extensions, because it damages your real hair. So I will keep on wearing my wigs until the day I decide it's time to move on. I have read a lot of the comments, blogs, etc. and I appreciate all your support! I am glad you guys were digging my real hair! Derek and Niki tried to convince me to wear my real hair for my wedding day, as you saw, and I wasn't having it! That is not the day I wanted to change up my look!

Just one more episode until the BIG day. I cant wait to watch it with you guys!

Follow me on Twitter @kimzolciak.