Writer's Block

Kim was extremely nervous about writing her own vows.

I loved the beginning of this episode with KJ and I! How precious is he? He knew I was stressed so he leans over and hugs and kisses me. Doesn't get any better than that. He is truly such a gentle soul.

OK lets get right into it! My uncle John has been a HUGE part of my life since I was very little, and sadly a few years back he was VERY sick, in fact I was told he wouldn't make it through the night. So I packed my girls and drove like a bat outta hell to South Carolina to see him, I kicked everyone out of the ICU room he was in and had a heart to heart with him. He wasn't really coherent however when I said to him, "You lied to me and said you wouldn't leave me on this planet without a perfect husband and father for my girls." But then the tears streamed down his face! It was turning point for him, his blood pressure increased, he quickly turned the corner and thankfully by the grace of God he is still with us. So I knew when I did get married that he too would walk me down the aisle with my dad. I asked my dad if he would mind, and of course my dad understood. I was so excited to ask my uncle, I could hardly contain myself!

Coy Wire played in the NFL for 9 years and is now a motivational speaker and has a book out called Change Your Mind. He is an amazing person with such positive energy! When Kroy and I first met and started dating, there weren't a whole lot of people that supported us, but Coy always did. I knew when Kroy asked me to marry him that Coy would be the perfect person for us to officiate our marriage.When Kroy said he was writing his own vows, my heart began to race. All these thoughts ran through my mind:

1. I am not sure if I will even be able to utter "I do" let alone try to profess my love for my husband in front of 200 people.

2. It will take all day to say my vows, because the man I am about to marry is just that f-ckin incredible.

3) I only have 30 days to get it together!

"I can do this," I just kept telling myself...and I did!

Derek J....Gotta love him. I was so thankful he went to look at porta-potties with me. Eeew! But I couldn't imagine 200 plus people trying to use our bathrooms at the same time, so why not have multiple potties outside?

I wanted my mom to feel just as beautiful as I felt on my wedding day, so I had Shun my stylist come over and bring her some options. I was still very hurt by her text message saying she was going to be sick on my wedding day, but I knew this was a great time to talk about it and hopefully move on. As you saw it didn't really go that way, and you will see in the coming episodes that it not only didn't help, but probably made things worse.

Thank you for all your tweets and Facebook messages, I love them! You can follow me @kimzolciak and Kroy @biermann71.

Until next week!

Steroids and Wine

Episode 8: Bravotv.com's Associate Editor is very concerned for Kim's liver.

The tension is mounting! This episode was such a horrible tease, since we only get a glimpse at the wedding. We've been waiting for weeks to see that wedding jumpsuit in action, COME ON! But good wigs come to those who wait I suppose, and there were still plenty of entertaining moments during the pre-wedding panic.

Steroids and Wine

Jen returns! Tears are shed and our Lucy is reunited with her Ethel. Jen couldn't be happier to have shed the matron of honor stress, and now gets to go back to doing what she does best -- drinking with Kim. So while lashes are applied and hair is curled, Jen sets off in search of the booze. And Kim's antibiotics. Hold up. Aren't you supposed to keep alcohol far away from you when on antibiotics? Well for mere mortals these may be the rules, but not for Kim Zolciak. By the divine grace of her wigs, it would seem that Kim somehow managed to keep her liver intact. (Although I guess we haven't gotten to the big event yet...)

I was also a big fan of how Jen totally called out Brielle when she suggested that Kim drink her red wine through a straw, as this is the commonly known way to avoid wine teeth. Whoops! Though I doubt Brielle is out with her friends drinking bottles of red and hiding it by drinking from a straw. Everybody knows (Phaedra moment!) that teens opt for classy alcoholic beverages like Mike's Hard Lemonade, Zima, and wine coolers. Duh!

100% Pure Love (and Joy)

Kroy and Coy in a Porsche? That is one extra hot ride... But I digress.

Forget looking for men in the gym or the grocery store, evidently they're keeping all the good ones in Montana (or just on the Atlanta Falcons, hard to say). Seriously, did Kroy come off some previously unknown planet for hot and sweet men? He's just calm, cool, and totally ecstatic about marrying Kim. No wedding day jitters, just complete confidence in the fact that he's finally found the woman for him. He always manages to keep it positive: "The years ahead of us are going to be nothing but happy and successful and enjoyable." This guy is cuter than KJ and Chanel combined. Well, almost, but that's still saying something.
Derek J Date

If there's one thing that really seems to be stressing out Kim to no end, it's getting her wedding wig cut. She was so adamant about having it done before the wedding day, but that didn't happen. Derek J didn't even make it to Kim's house until two hours before the big event. Why you ask? It would seem that Kandi hijacked Derek J for "ten hours" that morning to give her a wedding-worthy 'do. Ten hours? What in the world was Derek doing to her hair? In that amount of time he probably could have crafted and cut an entirely new wig for her. Now I'm dying to see what exactly he did to Kandi's coif.

I also love the Derek J just doesn't take any BS from Kim. As soon as she starts going off on him, he fires back by calling her ma'am. I think that's the equivalent of your parent using your full name to yell at you in Derek J's universe. Let's hope he doesn't displease Kim with his wig cutting.
Next week's the main event. Will it be a dream wedding or just a nightmare?