The riddle of the Housewives sphinx was finally answered when we got a peek under Kim Zolciak's wig. Luckily seeing Kim's real hair didn't bring about the apocalypse, and Kim's big day is nearly upon us!
Where has Febe been all season? She is a delight. While Kim is freaking out about her illness, Febe keeps her calm. "Take it easy, it's going to be a nice day." Perhaps she's new, but Kim's not going to be taking anything easy a day before her wedding. It's a lovely sentiment nonetheless, Febe.
So Kim's somehow keeping it together despite having a fever of 102. Febe rolls in to save the day with the customary care package -- tea, soup, and about 500 prescription drugs. Seriously, how sick was Kim that she was prescribed so much medication? If she's that ill, she should probably quarantined somewhere until the last minute possible.
Of course Kim's biggest concern is that somehow the drugs are going to make her look fat. Among the myriad warnings on prescription drug labels, I don't think I've ever seen one that says, "May induce temporary plumpness." These concerns are of course all addressed to Febe as if she's a pharmacist. She didn't seem to think it would be an issue so long as she takes them one at a time, and I believe her. Febe wouldn't lead Kim astray.
Side note: If Kim's that sick, she probably shouldn't be offering spritzes from her nasal spray to anyone.
Phew! Kim and Jen have finally reconciled. I can relax now.
Bravo's resident Lucy and Ethel managed to patch things up once Jen sent Kim an apology email explaining why she's been out of touch. The pressure of being in the spotlight and planning had gotten to her. Her apology managed to move Kim to tears it was so touching. And I have to admit, it was moving. Jen may not be the best matron of honor, but she does know how to say she's sorry.
So Jen will no longer be Kim's matron of honor, but she will remain her best friend. Awww! Though I'm a little disappointed, because I was dying to see if Kim would make her wear one of those odd matron of honor hats.
After years of waiting and wondering, Kim finally answered what has become one of the greatest mysteries in all of Housewives lore -- what's under the wig? It's one of those things where I'm sure everyone had their own mental image of what we'd find. A short, G.I. Jane look. Gingery locks. Some sort of lucky animal pelt. Who could say? Well now the speculation can finally cease. It's just hair. Hair that (call me crazy) looked nearly identical to Kim's wigs.
She has nice, normal hair! Which begs the question -- why the wigs? It would seem she simply enjoys wearing them. Why not extensions? Do wigs really save you any trouble rather than dealing with your own hair maintenance? Basically by lifting the wig curtain on this mystery, we're left with even more questions than before.