Well, let’s just get into it and clear up all the drama from the Santa Ynez trip once and for all!
My “white trash dip” comment was about the dip and nothing else. It was a joke. I did not call Jessica “white trash,” infer she was “white trash,” or say anything hurtful or mean that was directed towards her.
It is apparent Jessica is going through a difficult time after losing her job. It is also apparent she is sensitive about people perceiving her as “white trash.” She says as much in the episode. I have no issue with this. Everyone is sensitive or insecure about something. However, to hear Jess take such offense when I said the words “white trash,” and then to turn around and causally start labeling things that she considers white trash, as per her conversation with her friend on the phone that, “what is white trash is going to a farm and eating your own food” seems to entirely contradiction why she is upset with me. Her comments also makes no sense since our entire trip is based around harvesting your own food, the concept, and what we spent the entire weekend doing. So is she calling all of us white trash?! There is nothing white trash about it.
Jessica confronts me stating that she knows I meant no harm, that is was a joke. So I was confused as to what the issue was. It became glaringly obvious that it had nothing to do with me directly; it was a sensitive issue and a sensitive time, which is what I meant when I said it was “her shit.” I did not mean that to be insensitive to her feelings. I said to her first off that her feelings are valid, and I apologized. I am genuinely apologetic -- I did not, and do not ever want to hurt Jessica’s feelings.
As all things do, it came out in the end, Jessica realized she was being sensitive, and saw she overreacted. This still does not change my apology; I am sorry if something I said was taken the wrong way.
If anything, my comment about the dip being trailer park was more directed at the person who could mistake French onion dip for hummus. Really? Seeing how we are all supposed to be experts on food and all.
I am happy it is smoothed over, and I genuinely feel for Jessica in her hard time. I just wish as a friend that she would stop trying to run from her past but embrace it. You cannot run from yourself or hide from your past. Honor and respect it as part of you, as helping to shape who you are today and honoring that within you. It is because she is so ashamed of her past that she allows her work to be her identity, which in my opinion robs you of so many things to be enjoyed in life and to discover about yourself. Acceptance is the key to so much happiness. Rather than denying who you are, or have been, or who you don’t want to be anymore. It seems we are all learning some painful life lessons, which is why they are called growing pains. Through the difficult times, failures, harsh truths, and arguments, growth comes. While you hope that the lessons are learned and growth comes, it sadly cannot always be the case when people don’t take responsibility for their actions. It is through our actions and the choices we make that our true character is revealed.
It is nice to see Brenda take such responsibility and own up to fighting dirty. It was indeed a dirty fight, and I hope they can move past it and at least agree to disagree.
As for the dinner at Smoke, it was a joke, even after Brenda and Lindsay tried to resolve things. People are still mad from Santa Ynez and lying to each other and leaving the dinner early. The whole situation was just awkward. It is too bad the relationships between some of the girls have reached a point where Jess doesn’t want to be at dinner with Lindsay, Nina, and me, and Lindsay didn’t want Jess coming to her party.
In the words of Nina, I would like to say a giant “boo” to everyone in hopes that they can snap out of all the bullshit, …and well, yes, it would be kind of funny if they peed too.
Thanks for watching, and participating with us as we fumble through our work and friendship woes. Follow me on Twitter to stay up to date on all that is going on with me @waylynnlucas and @fonuts.