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Rat Problems

Jeff Lewis vents about dealing with rats.

By Jeff Lewis

The rat infestation at the Encino property was by far the worst rodent problem I have ever encountered. Lorie Lassner was running a high end rat hotel without ever knowing it. It amazes me that she never heard them in the walls or attic because we estimated the guest list to be in the double digits. The irony was that the Lassners had a contract for regular maintenance with a supposedly reputable pest control company. They would show up, place a few traps around, then come back in a few weeks and check them. In the meantime, the rats were multiplying and inviting more friends to move in. They never actually addressed the problem, probably because they would lose their dependable monthly service fee once the rats were eliminated. To solve a rodent problem, you have to find and block every single point of entry, then catch the ones still trapped inside, just in case anyone is wondering. However, I did enjoy teasing Lorie about it, although she never quite found it funny. I guess I was hoping if I joked about it enough, she would see the humor in it, but that never happened. I was able to solve the problem in the end, evicting every last rat.

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At home, I was dealing with a rat problem of my own: a 190-pound rat, to be exact. But my efforts to trap him were much more sophisticated. For those of you who thought that I was completely paranoid after watching Episode Three, well, you're right. But after seeing the nanny cam footage, you can't deny that my efforts were warranted. My suspicions were correct, and I feel completely justified in installing the surveillance system. And to think I suffered all that guilt and remorse after initiating the "sting operation." I couldn't believe my eyes after viewing the footage. I was extremely disturbed and upset over my findings. I think the most hurtful moment for me were the elaborate lies Chris told when he was defending himself over the Chez Louis comment. It was never something he would have been punished for. I gave him an out.

I said he could have been joking but to swear on his parents' lives and his own soul speaks volumes to me. Chris has lost all credibility in my eyes. Next week, you'll see me struggle with what to do next as laziness and dishonesty cannot be tolerated in my office.

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