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Zoila, Renaissance Woman

Jeff plans on bringing Zoila on all future flights, just in case the pilot dies and someone needs to fly the plane.

By Jeff Lewis

Our rough plane flight back from northern California was a little unnerving, especially for poor Sarah who already suffers from aerophobia. We hit some turbulence and in an effort to change our altitude, the pilot came very close to another plane. Now I am no pilot, but I'm pretty sure that's a "no-no" in Aviation Junior College. I liked our pilot, but he did strike me as a little old. I also thought I smelled alcohol on his breath, but then I realized it was me. And where the hell was our co-pilot? If our pilot were to die of old age in the air, who would land the plane? I longed for Zoila. In a crisis, she'd safely land that plane twenty minutes early and make me a dirty martini while doing it. Granted she would complain the entire time repeating, "Jeffrey, I'm not a pilot, I'm a housekeeper."

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Sarah had descended into a full-blown panic, and I did my best to calm her by sending a series of text messages to her phone. She did not respond well to my efforts of comfort, and when the cockpit alarms went off, she literally jumped out of her seat into Trace's lap. I even started to get nervous. I worried that with one parachute on board, what was everyone else going to do? Fortunately we landed safely, although I don't think Sarah will be getting over her fear of flying anytime soon… if ever.

Near death experiences really make you appreciate the positive things in your life. Trace continues to prove his talent and has been a great addition to JLD. My employees and I have an eccentric and quirky family dynamic that doesn't appeal to everyone, but over time Trace has shown that he is as dysfunctional as the rest of us.

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