Strip Search

Episode 2:'s Assistant Editor counts down this week's top three moments.

Greetings, Jeff Lewis junkies and Flipping Out fanatics! In the spirit of Jeff's need to simplify, I'll be selecting the top three moments from each episode. And if you disagree with my choices, well... share your personal picks in the comments.

No. 3: Bee-mused

Jenni's tussle with a bee took the No. 3 spot, mostly because I am now mystified by Jenni's hair. Does she use some sort of super sticky product? Are her curls so tight that the bee really couldn't escape even after whipping her hair back and forth? (Maybe this is what Willow Smith really had in mind when she penned that song.) Jeff even had to pull over the car so Trace could swat it out of her luscious, Grecian locks. 

And of course Jeff just laughed the whole time.

No. 2: Double Flip

This week we got the first full-fury flip out of the season. And it was a two-for-one affair. Jeff really laid into Zoila for being late. Never blame the traffic for tardiness at JLD or you'll end up having Jeff shouting, "This is LA. There's traffic everywhere!" I have to admit, kind of seemed like a valid point. At least in New York if you say you're late because a fight broke out on your subway train, no one bats an eye. 

But then just when Sarah thinks she's safe from getting yelled at for once, Jeff tells her she needs to stop lying about being late as well. Definitely was not Sarah's episode. 

Side Note: Is it weird that I just kept envisioning Teresa's epic double slap on Passions (look that up on YouTube if you haven't seen it).

No. 1: How to Get a Job at JLD

Unsurprisingly the intern hiring process at Jeff Lewis Design is not exactly HR friendly. First off there's the photo requirement so Jeff (and the rest of the staff) can make sure the person is cute. Or looks like a stripper. Is this just a common design intern criteria? Cast your mind back to the episode of Million Dollar Decorators where Jeffrey wanted to hire one of the waiters at a party as an intern because he was attractive. Design experience evidently always takes a back seat to being a hottie.

Don't be afraid to list seemingly unrelated talents/skills/family perks on your resume. That one intern managed to make up for her lateness (which as we know from moment No. 2 does not go over well with Jeff) by revealing she has access to unlimited free tequila thanks to her family business. I think if she had said she used to be a bartender and can make specialty margaritas and martinis, she would have sealed the deal. 

And of course many interns later, no one is hired. Maybe they're holding out for someone who can get them free vodka?

The team is going to need the help though, since next week Jeff's client shortens his deadline from three months to one. 

Jenni Battles Lewd Snowmen

Jenni dishes on her HR struggles during the office's attempt at a "new day."


Jeff's therapist Doctor Donna explains it all to me and Jeff.
We need to be professional.
Jeff explains it to the office at Gramercy.
Following the doctor's instruction, I ask everyone to do a little homework.
When they are at home, they write down what respect means.
Adding how they feel they have been disrespected at the office.
Jeff is not happy with the business time waste.
I am visibly unhappy with the behavior that causes it.
Zoila weighs in on respect, which she thinks is at zero all round.
Design Dad AKA Jeff wants a "new day'" starting tomorrow.
Andy clearly still wants to play "old day."
Jeff finds something obscene to stir the pot before the "new day."
Human Resources not amused.

New clients George and Monica Eads are down to the studs.
The budget has gone way up for their renovation in the Hollywood Hills.
Monica has to tell her husband George.
Never a fun moment to tell your significant other about shipping purchases or a renovation budget increase.

In Playa Del Rey client Judy's beach house is for sale.
She is moving to Palm Desert.
Jeff makes it clear he wants to buy her incredible beach house.

Gramercy is dealing with Andrew's construction crushes.
Plus we are questioning his shirtless employee screen-savers.
Personal and professional boundaries have to be established ASAP.
Andy and the word or concept of boundary are in no way connected.
Cast as the enforcer by default causes my popularity to take a holiday.
Jeff needs to support me, and frankly he would rather be the leader of the bad boys.
Just call me Buzz Kill. "New Day" at Gramercy begins with an early office meeting and truth encounter.
Jeff is surprised at the amount of employee complaints.

Monica is taken to meet with Joseph the owner of Living Square.
Jeff hopes he can entertain her with some renovation details.
Megan cannot believe that every plumbing fixture can be provocatively described.

Andy and Megan visit the Eads' work site to supervise David the contractor and his crew. "Cracking the whip" is a term Andy prefers to use.
Andrew volunteers that "Megan will give you special favors" for speedy completion. Megan is embarrassed and asks contractor David to ignore Andy.
She is questioning the "New Day" concept when dealing with Andy's "old day" behavior.
At Gramercy Andrew's boundary free conduct is discussed with Jeff.
How are things ever going to change heading in the current direction?
Jeff keeps boundaries blurry with his own crossover fun.
Gramercy is the setting for Zoila and Gage's war zone.
When she calls him "a bitch" in "New Day" Jeff and I  have to step in: "Jenni we're stopping all this crap."Judy in Playa Del Rey has strong opinions and gives Jeff as good as she gets.
I love it.
Jeff wants her beach house, so he thinks he's on good behavior.
And he sweetly asks for a "special price."
Jeff thinks she is steps ahead of his games, because she's a therapist.
And he casually asks her to define his issues.
She without hesitation says he is "needy with low self-esteem."
I don't think these are the answers he was expecting.
She says we are both "passive aggressive."
I quickly admit to being needy with low self-esteem.
Are these the ties that bind us?

Jeff and Megan do another walk through at the Eads renovation with David. Measurements are not adding up, and Jeff is stressing.

Gage blows the whistle on Andy's office iPad photo saying, "He's a weird dude."
Snowmen with a lewd human close encounter...and carrots are involved.
Clients don't need that nasty revelation imbedded accidentally by Andy into a work file. Andy is told to remove it -- the snowmen three-way has to go.
He refuses and is clearly upset thinking we are all overreacting.
Jeff is having some very unpleasant employee realizations.

We found out Andrew has not been taking his medication.
Jeff thinks that could explain the recent behavior.
Desperate for change Jeff is on the phone with spiritual healer David Elliot.
He wants to book ailing Office Lewis for one of David's spiritual retreats in New Mexico. Six years ago Jeff first worked with David.
A three day group bonding, healing retreat is the plan.
Jeff says there is hope for so many stunned employee faces.

Monica Eads is given the revised budget by Jeff, and it's a smidgen over a million.
Her husband George is willing to look at the new numbers.

In Palm Desert and we are working on the design consultation with Judy.
What goes where is a Jeff versus Judy showdown.
Arguing over pottery placement is driving Judy to drink.
After a few she is easing up on the opposition.
This results in Jeff being given carte blanche to get on with the job.
Judy loves the end result and is talking future work.
Then she drops the bomb: she has sold the beach house.
Someone met her price and Jeff is bummed.
He thinks she played him to get good behavior and better prices.
Jeff said he played her to get the beach house.
I hope this was an educational experience.

George Eads gives a firm OK for the new budget.

Zoila does not want to participate in Jeff's planned office retreat.
"I am not going anywhere with this guy."
Zoila is not up for a Telenovela free zone that includes Gage.
Does David know what he's getting himself into?
Who heals the spiritual healer?
We might need that number. At Gramercy Gage is talking about howling at the moon.
The entire office is discussing finding your spirit animal.

Our plane lands in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Design dad drives us all to the mental medication location.
Andy gets scared when the long dirt road seems to lead nowhere.
Jeff's reference to chain saw massacre delights Jeff, and Jeff only.

Watch team building send Andy over the edge and...
What's next for Jeff Lewis Design?