Without a Trace

Episode 6:'s Assistant Editor counts down this week's top three moments.

No. 3 Voted Off the Island

Well it looks like we'll be getting a lot more Jett the rest of the season given the recent turn of events, and I'm pretty stoked. We haven't seen nearly enough of everyone's favorite rocker dad/house assistant. Jett's totally that under-the-radar guy who's calm and level-headed yet is still down for a good JLD prank or a dirty martini.

However while I'm thrilled he avoided being handed a pink slip (haha!), the moment when Jeff basically tells Jett that Gage voted for him to be laid off was pretty awkward (and that's quite a feat at JLD). As relieved as Jett might feel that he wasn't let go, he must have been simmering with some serious resentment towards Gage, with whom he's now going to have to work closely. That is just rough for both parties. Jeff really might want to look into some team building exercises (though he probably shouldn't start with trust falls). 

No. 2 Gotcha!

What's the best way to welcome back an employee who's been recovering from surgery for weeks? Play a prank on her! It's the JLD way. As if it wasn't bad enough that Jeff kept giving Zoila a hard time about coming back to work because he thought Lupe the temporary maid was doing a better job, he decided to trick her with a fake coffee spill. Jeff had one of those little gag cups that look like something spilled. The kind you got at Gadgets and Gizmos (remember that store?) at your local mall in the '90s. And although I enjoyed being transported back to my childhood mall experiences, I did not enjoy seeing Zoila toyed with on her first day back. But she was a good sport, and I think she appreciates a good prank.

No. 1 Without a Trace

Wow, no one saw this coming, not even Jeff. Star pupil and Jeff Lewis apprentice, Trace, was sent packing for doing some extracurricular designing on Jeff's dime. In a true cautionary tale about keeping your work email strictly about work (maybe JLD suffers from not having those mandatory HR videos that you have to sit through during your first week at a new job), Trace gets busted when Gage and Jeff have to go into his email to check something. Jeff Lewis rage ensues. (PS: That was a serious closet Trace was desinging for himself! How big is his apartment?)

When Jeff called Trace in for his impromptu review, I figured he would get chewed out and slapped with a stern warning. But Jeff went right in for the kill and sent him packing. It all seemed so sudden! In the end Jeff has to do what he thinks is best for his business, but still, we'll miss Trace. Who could forget his little short shorts or the time a client slapped him? Memories...

Next week Stacey reveals that she's been helping Sarah with her resume, and let's just say Jeff isn't too pleased. Oh, and Stacey's now rocking a long, blond wig. 

Zoila was Kidnapped by "Inappropriate Aliens"

Jenni discusses her return to the HR nightmare that Jeff's office had become.


At Gramercy Jeff says "Jenni can scan" when no one else can.
I guess I'm missed.
Megan forgets Chaz's file.
"Think I'd rather have that pregnant girl back." 
Jeff and Megan's car conversation
Makes me believe.
I guess I'm missed.

Chaz's La Mirada remodel has a tight, no-nonsense budget.
Termites and water damage add to the challenge.

Andy gets some tough love with a reminder…
Do not double park your car in the street with the keys inside.

Citrus, Jeff's rental property, is a lesson for Megan in Jeff Lewis Property Management.
I bet she does not think it involves hands-on trash can super skills.
"If we're at a job site and something needs to be done, Jenni and I just get our hands dirty and we do it."
I guess I'm missed.
I have major dumpster skills, so smelly trash cans are no biggie. Megan thinks being an assistant is a little bit of a step backwards for her.
As Jeff's assistant I have had to happily go backward and forward.

Remodeling Jeff's client Kelly's house cost more than expected.
Jeff takes Kelly shopping at Living Spaces for great finds at a reasonable price.

I return to Gramercy with baby pictures for a cocktail hour to celebrate Megan's birthday. Andy makes sure it is Rated X, and as HR I throw my hands in the air.
Zoila gives herself a suggestive chest rub and has concern about "goes boom."
Zoila has been kidnapped by the inappropriate aliens.

Kelly's renovation is complete and the team places furniture and accessories.
Jeff"s long friendship with Kelly gives this job added importance.
After her birthday night date, Megan is hung over and horizontal on the job.

Kelly moved into her boyfriend's home which has been remodeled and redecorated.
Now it is their home and they are beyond thrilled.
Another win for Jeff Lewis Design!

Jeff and being late do not mix.
Megan has a packed freeway highlighting her scheduling error.
At La Mirada they are not happy about the half hour delay.
Chaz's business manager, Nuria, is not a Jeff fan and keeps a tight fist on the numbers. Megan is having trouble filling in for me -- she calls it "daunting."
Jeff is on Megan error overload.The office can be an oversized playpen.
Computerized insults and a vocabulary list of computer speak that would be hot fun if you're ten are hurled.

Jeff's budget for La Mirada will have Chaz's business manager in explode mode.
Great FYI: clear communication with your contractor is a must.
Change orders are cash cows, so clarity is king.

Megan is doing her best balancing the work and mommy "hood."
She has not one but two at home.
Three full time jobs.
Jeff tells Megan, "No texting your nanny…it's constant."

Jeff and I have a Japanese lunch.
Jeff wants me back ASAP.
He missed me, he really missed me.
I told him the office atmosphere is over the edge.
Back on track has to be the writing on this office wall.
My Jeff Lewis Design Cleanse is now over, and I am officially back to work.
To make my position clear Buzz Kill 101 is what I want on my t-shirt.

With client Chaz we are talking toilets.
Massaging someone for a deal is all in a day's work.
When the numbers are great, I give hugs.

Jeff says I am a prank suppressor and calls me "mom."
What boss thinks putting a small snake in Andy's shirt is a plan?
Andy nearly falls in the pool and as HR I am at a total loss.
What alternate universe have I returned to?

Nuria, Chaz's business manager, and Jeff have a numbers smack-down.
Jeff does not like to be beaten up over money.
"I like his old business manager better" is Jeff's exit line.NEXT WEEK ON FLIPPING OUT
Things are totally out of control.
What to do?
Dr. Donna to the rescue!