BFFs Q&A: Can You Really Just Be Friends?

Find out why these friends wanted to become lovers -- and if anyone really can be "just friends."

Bravotv.com: Why do you want to start a relationship with your best friend and what is your biggest concern?

Darion Lowenstein: Aliens forced me!!. . .No, a great friendship is the baseline of most of the successful marriages I've seen. It's why I said yes -- however my biggest fear was losing the amazing friendship Charley and I built over 5 years. We've seen each other through life's ups and downs, relationships and dating, so we know each other far better than anyone else would on a first date!

Bravotv.com: Can two people really just be friends?

DL: Somehow we've managed to for five years! Ha! I think most people, at some point in their lives, has probably had a friend they've had a "what if" moment about. I think the bigger question is -- if it doesn't work out, can you remain friends? And that's something the show will explore. "Lovers to Frenemies" for whoever doesn't work out, perhaps?

Bravotv.com: What makes dating your best friend different than other relationships?

DL: You know where all the skeletons are buried! You know their quirks! You know that eye twitch they do when they are lying! You know that Great Aunt has already died like five times! You know they secretly love Spice Girls and secretly hate Coldplay! You know they totally dumped that last person because they couldn't get over their morning breath. . .keep that gum handy. When you know someone so well, it changes EVERYTHING.

 

Bravotv.com: Why do you want to start a relationship with your best friend and what is your biggest concern?

Charley Walters: I honestly don’t have a ton of dating experience so this is all pretty new for me! The concept of dating in Los Angeles especially is daunting enough as it is, so as far as I’m concerned for amateurs like me, why not go on the journey with someone you already know and trust. Obviously, the biggest concern is having it not work out and losing a person you consider a close friend and confidant. 

Bravotv.com: Can two people really just be friends?

CWOf course! Otherwise I think we’d all be running around pretty confused all the time. When I first started this endeavor I remember my reaction was "Okay, let's see how this goes, but let's face it. This whole concept of friends deciding to date each other hardly EVER happens." Interestingly enough, in the past few months I’ve heard from a whole slew of people who really tried this and for the most part it seems to be working! Who knows maybe it’s a new trend, or maybe people just love to live by example.

Bravotv.com: What makes dating your best friend different than other relationships?

CW: Well, the nice part is you don't have to go through the whole "getting to know you" phase. That is also the bad part because that stage can be equally exciting! But overall, I’d say having the foundation of a friendship in place means you have potential to build that relationship even higher. Just be careful because those "little things" that annoy you about your friends? They become AMPLIFIED when you’re suddenly in the relationship-zone. No offense to anyone who might be reading this, haha. 

 

Bravotv.com: Why do you want to start a relationship with your best friend and what is your biggest concern?

Marshana RitchieI want to go on a date with my best friend because I know that we have a great foundation for an amazing relationship.I'm nervous and scared, but I need to know. For all these years there has been this question, that has been unanswered. . .and win, lose or draw, I want to know once and for all of there is something there.

Bravotv.com: Can two people really just be friends?

MR: Well, it all depends. Yes, two people can really just be friends if they have a light, superficial friendship.  However, when you are friends like Stefan and I have been, then no. All these late nights, texting, phone calls for hours on end, being there for each other when you are down. . .yeah, that's how feelings get involved and folks get caught up. So, if two people have a friendship like that, then my suspicion is that at least one of them have developed some feelings for the other.

Bravotv.com: What makes dating your best friend different than other relationships?

MR: The stakes are much higher when you date your best friend. If you date anyone else and it doesn't work out, sure there may be disappointment, but that's about it. When you date your best friend, there may be disappointment AND the loss of a friendship. The possibility of losing someone that means so much to you is a crippling fear. The hope is that you can date, and not lose the friendship, ideally.

Bravotv.com: Why do you want to start a relationship with your best friend and what is your biggest concern?

Stefan Lienhard: Well, I already went on a date with my best friend years ago and truthfully I can't remember exactly why we just transitioned to friends, but Marshana suggested we give it another shot and I completely agree. A concern I have is hurting the friendship that we already have. As we all know the rules change once you date so I'd hate to not be able to preserve the friendship despite what happens.

Bravotv.com: Can two people really just be friends?

SL: I think at some point one friend will always look at the other and raise and eyebrow. But once it's out there and talked about and you've decided to just remain friends, I think it's definitely doable.

Bravotv.com: What makes dating your best friend different than other relationships?

SL: The difference in dating your friend is that you already know each other, not too much feeling out required. However, the way you relate to each other changes as well as the expectations you have, so that's the adjustment that makes it a little challenging.

Bravotv.com: Why do you want to start a relationship with your best friend and what is your biggest concern?

Kristen Ruby: I am a total workaholic and have focused all of my time on building my PR agency over the past few years.This is the perfect time to really prioritize love. When I encouraged Alex to start his business, and he followed my advice, I was attractive to his drive and ambition. My biggest concern going into the relationship with Alex is that we are digitally incompatible. This is not something to laugh it --it is a real issue. I run a social media and PR agency, Ruby Media Group, and I am connected to my devices 24/7. I have social media “expectations” of someone I am in a relationship with and it is a challenge for Alex to see this as valid. I was very worried that we may not be on the same social media page. If I am not on the same social media page with a partner, it can be a real deal breaker!

Bravotv.com: Can two people really just be friends?

KR: Yes, two people can be friends. However, if there is a certain level of attraction that exists at any level at some point it will come to the surface.

Bravotv.com: What makes dating your best friend different than other relationships?

KR: Dating your best friend is completely different than other relationships -- you have so much more to lose. It is not like meeting a random person off a dating app -- you are potentially risking an eight year friendship if it doesn’t work out. Also, your best friend knows you better then anyone else and has the ability to really push your buttons more so than someone who doesn’t know you. The best part about dating your best friend that is different than other relationships is that they really understand you. When they give you feedback, you take it to heart and it is meaningful. I was more likely to listen to a suggestion from my best friend then from someone that didn’t know me well. Dating my best friend definitely took me way out of my comfort zone which was the best thing that ever happened to me. 

Bravotv.com: Why do you want to start a relationship with your best friend and what is your biggest concern?

Jin Mosley: I think if Sydney and I can move past the friend zone it could be a dynamic combo. We already know the best and worst about eachother. My biggest concern is feelings getting hurt and crossing boundaries we may not be able to recover from.

Bravotv.com: Can two people really just be friends?

JM: YES! Absolutely. Most of my most trusted friends are male. There is a comfort in opposite sex friendships that same sex does not have.

Bravotv.com: What makes dating your best friend different than other relationships?

JM: Because it's your best friend you are more sensitive to the others feelings. Guys that I date would not get the preferential treatment Sydney gets.

Bravotv.com: Why do you want to start a relationship with your best friend and what is your biggest concern?

Syndey Hall:  I'm willing to date my best friend because I'm not getting any younger, haha, and she possesses a lot of the qualities I look for in a significant other. My main concern is that it may effect out friendship for the long term.

Bravotv.com: Can two people really just be friends?

SH: Two people can just be friends only is there is no attraction involved. Attraction will definitely take away from the "just friends" thing.
Bravotv.com: What makes dating your best friend different than other relationships?

SH: Dating a best friend is different because of the information you know about them going into the relationship. Usually dating is about getting to know the person your dating. Their wants, desires and feelings on different things. Knowing these things going in makes cause for a different type of dating experience.

 

Bravotv.com: Why do you want to start a relationship with your best friend and what is your biggest concern?

Melanie Marden: Greg is a great man.  Smart, funny, sexy, successful and he has the same interest in eventually having a family.

Bravotv.com: Can two people really just be friends?

MM: Each case is different -- if the friends really only view each other as friends then yes. If one even remotely has different intentions then no.

Bravotv.com: What makes dating your best friend different than other relationships?

MM: It's awkward, I mean this person knows you and your past. It's also really a big head game as you are so used to seeing them in a different light. (Friend zone).

 

Bravotv.com: Why do you want to start a relationship with your best friend and what is your biggest concern?

Greg Plitt: Never dated a friend before so this is new territory for me to say the least. Melanie and I have been friends for a long time and always have a great time when out together. For the past 7 years, we both have never been single at the same time and even though there is a lot to loose by dating a good friend, I feel there is more to gain and makes the risk outweighed by reward. Most people that get married and have a healthy and happy married life always tell me the secret is that their wife is their best friend.

Bravotv.com: Can two people really just be friends?

GP: I feel that if two people are sexually attracted to one another, then it’s impossible to be "just friends". I feel friends can become lovers but I think it’s difficult for lovers to return to just being friends.

Bravotv.com: What makes dating your best friend different than other relationships?

GP: Most of the time when you start dating someone, you are really getting to know them, their friends, their family. Having history with someone where you know them well and share joint friends, the "element of surprise" is already known and some of the excitement is missing. But, for what excitement is missing, you get the upside of them knowing the good and bad about you and accepting you for who you are, which is just as powerful.

What do you think? Tell us in the poll below and tune in to Friends to Lovers Mondays at 10/9c!

 

 

 

 

All Posts About: Charley Walters Darion Lowenstein Jin Mosley Kristen Ruby Marshana Ritchie Melanie Marden

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