So much stuff I could write about, but really is there anything more fascinating than... MICHAEL.
The funniest thing about Michael, my eBay houseguest, was that he was totally the opposite of what I expected. Actually, that's the only funny thing about the whole weekend. The rest of it was just plain sad. I mean, come on - When I heard somebody paid $5 Grand to spend the weekend with me, I pictured this super-fabulous gay guy in his mid-30s, with lots of disposable income, who'd come to the house, maybe redecorate a little, and we'd have this totally wacky weekend where we'd laugh a lot, make fun of celebrities, and do each other's hair.
Instead, I got Michael. Who, by the way, I firmly believe lives in his parents' basement.
When I first met Michael, I wasn't even sure he was out of the closet. That is, until later that night, when he started describing a man he's had sex with who has a very graphic scar on his penis. When a guy does that, you know he's out. And if not, whoops...
Michael could not have been more unfazed by Hollywood and me in general. And the worst part was that the more unimpressed he was with me, the harder I tried to win him over.