Before I get to the blog, I just have to say one thing... HOLY CRAP, CAN YOU BELIEVE THE SHOW IS UP FOR AN EMMY?
It's true -- "My Life on the D-List" is nominated for Best Reality show. I really hope I win. Just so my speech can go like this: "Well I f**ked my way to the middle and it's finally paid off..."
Part of me kind of hopes that the day of the awards never comes because I like being a nominee so much. Because for one frozen moment in time, I'm just as good as those bitches on "Grey's Anatomy." And now, I blog...
GOING CORPORATE I don't know if anything makes me more nervous than corporate gigs. I do about five corporates a year, and they consistently scare the crap out of me. I'm always scouring the audience, trying to find a gay, and then I attach myself to him or her. Or if that doesn't work, I try to talk about sports because I know the heterosexual community loves sports. So I'll try to lean the local team names or find out if there have been any big trades.
Doing research about sports is always hard for me, because I firmly believe that all athletes are rapists and wife beaters. I don't know the exact statistics, but I'm pretty sure 94% of athletes have been arrested for rape or beating their wife. It's probably the same percentage for corporate employees.