(Which is different than "I saw Iraq. I came." Which did not happen. Because, like I said -- that place is a s**t-hole.)
So I went to Iraq to visit the troops, and it was absolutely one of the most incredible experiences of my life. But it almost didn't happen. I had to do a lot of begging to be allowed to go. The army kept saying, "Yes, you can go," and then they'd call and say "You can't go because it's too dangerous." Then they'd say, "You can't go to Iraq, but you can perform for the troops stationed in Germany or Djibouti." And I was like: Screw that!
First of all, anybody can go visit the troops in Germany. It's easier to do that than it is to get tickets to the World Cup. And, as for Djibouti, I am not going someplace that I can't spell. No offense, Djibouti. In fact, I think Djibouti would be a good place for Angelina Jolie to have her next kid. But for me, it was Iraq or nothing. Fortunately, it all worked out.
Although I didn't even really know I was going until just a couple days before. Then I had to deal with the people at Bravo who didn't want to pay for insurance for me. They basically ended up getting me this insurance that was worse than an HMO plan. It was like, we'll insure you if you're killed, but if you almost die, you're on your own. I think I would have had better coverage if I was an insurgent. I looked at their policy, and it's very thorough.