First of all, I have a pledge to make to all of you. I'm going to try and never say "Owwwww!" again. Seriously. As I watched this episode, I cringed every time I yelled that, and I feel like a frat guy in a bar who screams "Wassup!" or "Show me the Money!" I Promise to work on that. I'm not afraid to work on our relationship.
Also, I know I'm going a little out of order here, but you need to know that Nick Carter wanted me bad. But I am following all "The Rules" with him, so I'm not going to call him until he calls me so that he'll want me more. And although two months have passed, I know it's very difficult for him. However, I am a temptress, and he knew that when he fell in love with me in the first place.
I feel like at my age, I can be open with my parents about wanting to be promiscuous, because at this point, who really gives a shit? And we never had that talk when I was 18. Or ever. I never had the whole birds and bees talk with my mother, but being Catholic I'm sure her version of it would have been infused with angels, the Holy Ghost, and a lot of swearing.
Dear Ms> Griffin, I've had so much fun watching your show and your stand-up specials even my husband gives in and admits its funny. You are so lucky to have meet Don Rickles! He's my all time favorite! He sees a person for a minute and really gets them good! He is so hilarious as you are not. Just kidding! You are really gifted and by now you should be an "A Lister".
Dear Ms. Griffin I would compliment you some more like the last two times I wrote on your blog but, I'm too narsisistic to be able to allow myself to. Do you know any gays who might give a middle-aged housewife who just got fired 10 months ago a makeover? Thanks that would be cool! Do you ever watch Tosh.O on Comedy Central at 4:30? You both would mesh together so well. Plus you might out comedy him and win a battle for women around the world!