Patti Stanger

Patti Stanger answers your dating questions.

on Jun 5, 2007

Dear Patti, Help! I waaaay need it. I recently ended a 3-year relationship and find myself newly single again. After some much needed alone time (Yeah Tivo) I agreed to go out with my friend on a double date with some guy she likes and his friend, who I had met once before at her birthday party during my "mopy" phase. I guess I impressed him somehow and he wanted to go out which is like weird because I was such a mess then but anyway... THE DATE WAS HORRIBLE! I mean 'Sucks to be you' horrible. What made it bad though is that my jerk friend left me alone with this STRANGER at this bar we went to after dinner. I know I'm sounding totally evil because he wasn't a bad guy or anything but he was just very boring and not anything in common with me (how do you not like seafood?). The bigger problem was he liked me WAY more than I liked him. So please let me know, now that I'm back in the d-pool (dating pool) how do you let a nice guy down and not look like a total witch?? -Sherry Rose San Diego, CA

Dear Sherry Rose, If you're on a physical date and things aren't going the way you want -- you're gasping for air, you want to scratch your skin off, you can't stand looking at his face for a second more -- here's what you do: Simply tell your date, "I really don't feel you and I are a match (ouch!). And because you're such a great guy, I don't want to waste any more of your time. I think I'm going to go, but I wish you best of luck in your love search!"

Don't forget to say "thank you" for drinks and/or dinner, and politely leave. Oh, and remember that it's always a good idea to have an emergency stash of at least $100 in your purse to escape if needed, especially in cases where you didn't drive...and you need money for a cab!

Patti