Patti Stanger

Patti Stanger advises how to handle the ex factor.

on Jun 12, 2007

Patti, I'm a newly single gal living in Los Angeles (or as I call it, shark's town) but I had been married for the past six years. I ended it last year for all the right reasons and spent several months feeling guilty about ending it until I coaxed my way onto some online dating sites. So far, okay. I've met some decent boys but my past problems with "the ex" still looms. I really don't want to be that girl who talks all about her past on the first date but I also don't know how to avoid the topic since my marriage was so major in my life for such a long time. So how do I explain my past relationship and not create a million questions about it? Any advice how to brush past the "ex" topic when you're just trying to enjoy your night out? Stacey, L.A.

Poor Stacey, We all know "the ex" was a jerk (ahem, Kathy?), but does your date really need to know? The fact that you've been married once is a commodity in a city like L.A. -- use it to your advantage! After all, a man once wanted you bad enough to marry you... wear that attitude proud baby!

When "ex" talk comes up simply say to your date (with your sweetest voice), "Lets not talk about him, he's in the past. I'd much rather talk about you!" Then never mention it again. If the guy persists then you know he's NOT your guy...and MOVE ON.

Only gossip queens -- and I do mean "queens" -- like to talk about past relationships.

-Patti