Here's the thing. My Dad was just a very special man.
And when people come up to me and give their condolences so generously, they often say, "I know it's weird, because I feel like I knew your Dad even though I just saw him on TV." And I say, "then you did know him," because the wonderful thing about the Bravo show is that they really captured my Dad exactly the way he was -- funny and smart and sarcastic and sweet and gentle and naughty and nice all in one.
So I hope you really enjoyed tonight's episode and please know that my family wants you to watch and enjoy and remember all the great funny stuff about my dad because we feel really privileged to have this record of his last few weeks, where he was really himself and sharp and having fun.
I asked my Mom if it was difficult for her to watch the show, and she said in her inimitable way, "Oh for Christ's sake, no Kathleen. I love watching it, because I get to see Johnny again." Okay, deep breath everybody...
You know how sometimes you say things you regret, and sometimes those things end up on a TV show? For those of you who ask if I have any say in the editing of the show, or if there are moments that I regret -- are you happy now? Do you think I like how they kept in that part about the (ahem) flicker? I have no power to cut that out. Just like he had no power to stop it flicking that night. By the way, his name wasn't really Alonzo -- I just don't remember his name because I'm too sore to think straight.
Also, I know many of you wonder if the show is set up or staged, and it's not, but I will admit to this: Before we started shooting this season, I sat down with the producers and said, "I know this is a reality show and all, but at some point, could you guys set up some sort of scenario where I get to eat fried dough balls and jelly?" And those suckers fell for it. I still haven't had a good B.M.
But believe me, I regretted having fried dough balls when I had to face workout goddess Jackie Warner the next day. She's so hot, it's ridiculous. I have a weird attraction to her -- in that I'm jealous of her because I wish I looked like her and had her body. Also when I was talking to her, I had what Oprah would call a "lightbulb moment" and I thought, "Oh. This is why chicks get it on with each other." Tom was not allowed to come that day for obvious reasons. His head would explode.
Look, I'm very open when I need help -- and I need a lot of help -- but what I really need right now is a guy who can fix things. And I don't think Jackie is available. When we started looking for a handyman, I just wanted to ask friends for recommendations of who would be the best-qualified person to come over and be the general fix it guy. However, Jessica and Tiffany are obsessed with the show "My Super Sweet 16" and they thought we should audition handymen the way they audition strippers and dancers on that show. Their rationale was that because I'm on the road so much they'll be the ones stuck in the house with the guy, so he might as well be hot.
I followed their logic, even though I have no idea how a hot guy is going to caulk the tub any faster. We ended up with James and Tom was really more excited about that than anybody because he finally had a straight guy around to talk to on an occasional basis. That turned out to be James' main function in the house.
The Redken gig was a run of the mill, challenging corporate gig. Except we all had the cloud of bad news of my Dad hanging over us. At that time though, I was still able to talk to my Dad on the phone, and as usual, he was just telling me to do a good job and to break a leg.
I never got to take my Mom and Dad to Vegas -- one of my favorite cities -- because they're just not Vegas people but my Dad and I would always joke that some day I would take the two of them to see Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. at the Copa. As if either Frank or Sammy is still alive, and the Copa hadn't been torn down years ago.
As usual, the corporate gig was a challenge for me but my favorite moment was the Christian gentlemen who took umbrage with my early morning potty mouth. To which I say, "That's what Jesus would do."
The rest of the episode speaks for itself. We love him. We miss him. And I want you guys to know that periodically I sit my mom down in front of the computer and read her all the condolences on the various message boards like this one. It always makes her feel better.