Kathy goes deep undercover to discover the truth behind kiddie pageants.

The pageant is underway.

Everyone's a winner!

Which baby will be the next Miss California?

You talkin' to me?

Do you have anything in my size?

Kathy and her mom Maggie are guest judges at the pageant.

Feeling bitter over never participating in a pageant herself, Kathy decides to join the fun.

Kathy asks the experts to coach her in the art of pageantry.

With little time to prepare, Kathy must train hard.

Kathy does her best "Prissy Walk."

Flirting with the judges always helps.

Kathy shows off her bangin' bikini bod.

She's a natural!

Mom must be so proud!

O no! Stage fright! You can do it Kathy!

Kathy is crowned "Miss Elegant Lady" on the strength of her "Cupcake Hands."

Meet Kathy's harshest critics.