I don’t want to brag, but I have some pretty great citrus trees. It’s not a brag, because the trees are the ones doing all the work. Sometimes I open an orange or lemon and I say to myself, out loud, like a crazy person, “How in the world does nature make something so perfect? I mean holy sh--!” And then the moms in the park make sure their kids stay away from me.
Where I’m going is, I try to bring everybody an orange or lemon, so we have something bright and cheery on our desks. They also add a nice scent to the office, which is good, because the Probst offices next door have an unusual stench seeping through our walls. Maybe Jeff has a stomach problem he contracted on one of his Survivor seasons. Borneo can be a bitch.
Citrus isn’t just for smelling. It prevents scurvy, which also might explain the scent coming from the Probst office. Honestly, at first we thought it was the bathrooms or people cooking broccoli, but it’s not. They have something really wrong with them. They should do a segment on their show about it and get it fixed. That’s all. Who wants some lemonade?