It was just about this time we decided, for our own amusement, we would try and swindle a Hot Pocket reference into that week’s show script. We had to place it someplace inconspicuous, and it had to be done with surgical precision so as to not throw a wrench into the show’s or, obviously, Kathy’s flow. It also had to be placed in a quick, stand-alone sentence in the teleprompter so that Kathy would definitely read it. She sometimes paraphrases lengthier prompter text in her own more hilarious words, so we had to make it concise. We decided to stick it in right after a commercial break. Sure enough, Kathy looked into camera and said, “Welcome back. I’m a little high on Hot Pockets.” Oh, glorious day! Kathy nailed it. Of course she nailed it. The audience laughed, and a warm sense of satisfaction washed over us. I want you kids to know something: dreams do come true. Don’t you dare give up.
T’was only days later when we began noticing Hot Pocket references outside the office in sudden abundance. Holy ballnuts, Hot Pockets were seriously everywhere. And it wasn’t just because we were more aware of people talking about them -- or maybe it was, but just...let us believe. We first noticed when daytime’s television masterpiece, The Talk, was on in the office, and they were doing a cooking segment where they, you guessed it, were making homemade Hot Pockets. Of course, we all had to make a big f-ing deal about it. Then, one of us saw a tweet from a fan who watched our show that week that read, “Is it weird that I’m watching @kathygriffin show & she says, ‘I’m a little high on hot pockets’ as I’m eating a hot pocket?!’” Obviously, we printed the tweet and taped it to Kathy’s office door. Then...THEN, within the next few days, Richard III’s body being found under a grocery store parking lot was a headline being discussed on The Colbert Report, and the punch line was, “...which explains why his famous last words were, ‘My kingdom for a Hot Pocket!’”