The Doctor's In!

Dr. Eris had to learn to love herself too.

on Apr 8, 2013

I’m not saying that breast implants are bad. As you know from my story, I got them… loved them… got an infection and had to have them removed, which was not in my initial game plan. I spent four years hiding and covering my insecurities about my deformed breasts, which brought me back to the negative body image I had when I was young. Sometimes when we think that we are strong and have worked through our issues, life gets in our way and we become challenged to face them again.

As a young girl I was tall, chubby, and had no breasts. What I thought at that age was that I had three strikes against me. I cried out of embarrassment because the other girls were shorter, thinner, prettier, and it seemed as if puberty had been much kinder to them in the “breast department.” The boys liked them but not me. This led me to join Weight Watchers when I was 15 to seek a solution to be just as thin as the girls on the magazine covers because I was already just as tall as they were. Loosing weight was hard. It took time, commitment, and determination. It worked. I actually got some small-time modeling gigs but I still didn’t feel pretty enough. I felt insecure because I never make it on a cover of a magazine. By the time I was a senior in high school, I compared myself to everyone else in the world and I became bulimic and anorexic. I thought that might be the answer. In my mind I wasn’t pretty enough, my breasts weren’t large enough, my nose wasn’t small enough, my hips were too wide… I even allowed myself to believe that I wasn’t enough. Nothing worked…

As a young girl and teen, I was marked with body image disturbance, or body Dysmorphia. I had an imagined defect in appearance. I perceived myself as not pretty enough, even within. But, I wasn’t alone. According to the National Eating Disorder Association, 10 million women suffer from eating disorders. Through my own therapeutic work in overcoming these deep rooted issues, I had to replace my negative, self-defeating thinking about my body image with more realistic, self-enhancing self-talk.