I had to break up with the idea that I am not enough. I had to determine that I deserved better than the type of men that I was attracting into my life. But first I had to experience a solid relationship with myself. How can you possibly know what you want out of life if you don’t know who you are?

My client, Katie, experienced the same thing. She originally came to me to heal her broken heart after another tragic break-up. She wanted to start changing her beliefs and patterns and start attracting a different type of man into her life. She didn’t know how to go about doing this and wanted my help. 

These are the tools that I share with my clients to help them through a difficult break-up. Even if you are not going through a break-up in a romantic relationship, you might be going through one with a friend, a job, or something personal. These tools can also work for you. 

Nine steps to go from Break UP to Break THROUGH and Beyond:

1. It's a Break-UP not a BreakDOWN

• Your relationship ending does not mean that your life is over. It means that it is just about to begin.

• Get yourself a journal or small notebook, which I call YOUR BOOK. Write a gratitude list of at least 10 things that you are grateful for. This will help you to focus on the positive things in your life and take the edge off the heaviness that you might be feeling. 

2. Stop Looking At Their Social Media

• Do not go on your ex’s social media pages. It’s really not worth it. There is absolutely nothing you can gain. Nothing. 

3. Spend Time Alone with Me, Myself, and I

• Many people ask the question, “Why do I need to spend time alone?” The answer is simple: because it is essential for your growth and well being.

• A lot of times when a relationship ends we are left with a lot of emotional clutter. Spring cleaning doesn’t just have to come once a year. Sometimes relationships fail in the fall. So, cleanse your environment. Don’t just sweep things under the rug. Get rid of things that negatively remind you of your past non-constructive way (i.e. pictures in picture frame, his favorite t-shirt that you hang onto and sleep in every night.) 

• And remember all work and no play make Jack and Jill a dull boy and girl. Write down your Top Ten List of things to do alone. Now, do them!