The Doctor's In!

Dr. Greg tries to separate people from their actions.

on Mar 18, 20130

In this episode, as a part of my storyline, things are starting to bend in a "good people vs. bad people" direction. I encounter a man who is in therapy because he hates "fat people." I also have dinner with my sisters where I tell them I am getting married and that I have invited my father. In reaction, we hear my sister call my father a derogatory name and you also hear me tell a story where my father called some men he assumed were gay a derogatory name and the family joined in with laughter. 

The viewer is lead to start to believe some people on the show are "good" and some are "bad."

This concept of "good people vs. bad people" makes good TV (think cops and robbers) and is something most embrace without question. If you see some people as "bad," you will feel either threatened or better than the other person and choose to stay away from them. If you see other people as "good," you will feel safe and usually group yourself together with them. 

Nearly everyone I have ever met in therapy or on the street sees himself or herself as a "good person." For them, the "bad people" are the other guy. Even Jessica Rabbit in the animated classic, Who Framed Roger Rabbit? famously proclaimed, "I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way."

This "good people vs. bad people" sorting probably goes back to ancient times when one tribe threatened another. And today, you the viewer may be seduced into thinking of my client and my father as bad people (or even me for inviting my father to the wedding!). But it's a trap.

7 comments
DrJC
DrJC

Love the show and seeing your commitment to your clients.  Understand your struggles with your father,  have my own road with that.  It is extremely important.   But I worry watching you.  Your wedding is coming up.  Hopefully a joyous occasion???  Sometimes you sound doubtful and it looks like you are (sorry but unconsciously) are sabotaging it.   Why not focus on planning a wonderful day with your partner, and those that fully accept and love you - your sisters your friends.  !!  Instead you are putting your sisters in a position of not going and hurting you or going and hurting themselves.  Just talking about him caused painful tears.  Your announcement dinner left them with pain.  How are you going to be free on the day of your wedding if you are wondering what is happening with him. (Is he upsetting your sisters or using negative names in front of your friends.  He is a very wounded person who became an abuser and it is great how you are working with him.  Your partner deserves a wonderful wedding with his partner focused on him.  Why risk so much at your wedding?  Maybe  accept where he is at right now ("I can't take it when the gays shove it in my face").  

Or is that the point of this.  

Good luck with your choices, have a joyous wedding!!!! 

judy@london
judy@london

I really like this show so far and my heart ached for you and your sisters when you were discussing your abusive childhoods.It take a long time to work thru childhood issues and some people are never able to,bravo to you for trying so hard.You and your fiance are lovely together,good luck to you both.

SherrieR
SherrieR

Dr Greg, you are amazing. This is the best show that Bravo has come out with. I have told everyone I know to watch. It is free therapy! I congratulate you on your upcoming wedding. I have a brother in law who is gay and with his long term partner...... He and his brother(my husband) come from a large very Catholic Conservative family...... I love him dearly and have supported him through the years, but it is hard on him and his partner. I lose my patience with these people, but I love your patience and am inspired by it. Love your show! Keep it up and thank you Bravo. I love all your shows, but this one is the best one yet.

lani129@hotmail.com
lani129@hotmail.com

Hmmm...That's a great outlook! I like watching the expression on your face when people around you react. It feels like you are processing everything first before you speak. I try to emulate that. My husband and I continue to watch as we are so entertained. I love that I am learning so much! Free therapy too :) Looking forward to your future episodes.

bpster
bpster

Hoping for peace between your siblings and your father. I don't envy the place your at right now. Bless!!

Ashot
Ashot

I wasn't even going to watch LA Shrinks cause I thought it was a little too much for me, but your story has drawn me in. Your take on anger and avoidance on the previous episode really got to me and made me think about my anger and how to deal with anger in those times when you feel like going postal. LOL! With that said, Thank you! My heart also went out to you in the difficult sitation you are in with your father and siblings on this episode. It feels soooo familiar to me and I think your ability to face it head on is truly admirable. I truly hope your Father can see the hurt that he has caused you and your siblings and instead of being defensive; he should acknowlegde it and apologize. Sometimes that is truly all we need. Take care.

DanSam10
DanSam10

Good Evening, 

 

In a nutshell we are all good people that make bad behavioral choices. Some of us tend to live in our bad behavioral choices and some of us tend to learn from are past behavioral choices to make us a better person. I myself, learn from my mistakes on a daily bases. The older I get in age the better person I become in life.   

 

Happy Tuesday!