The Friend Zone
Lori Zaslow explains the danger of getting put in the friend category.
“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.” - Babe Ruth
OK, hit pause. I know last week I said I'm all about "friendship caught fire," but Brendan is an example of taking this to extremes. The friend zone is a space where nothing catches fire. It is where polite women put guys who are "cute" and "sweet,” a.k.a. "not someone they wish to imagine having sex with."
How does one avoid this? Keep your cool. When you feel your nerves kick in, take a breath, remind yourself you are worthy of love, and then DO NOT try to overcompensate -- particularly by acting like a giddy teenager and throwing yourself into a gong literally OR figuratively. Note to self: Brendan will need a meeting with The Nonverbal Group.Now fast forward to Marc and Jennifer -- a perfect example of a grown up, successful blind date. This is what everyone should come to me open to experiencing. First date or tenth, I will get it right. The more mature and open you are with me in our meetings, the easier it is for me to accomplish this quickly. Hence why I always say, “Work on yourself.” I think premarital therapy should be a requirement to obtain a marriage license.
Two men, burned by women. One defeated by his insecurities before he even starts by masking his hurt in humor (an instant sign of weakness), the other confessing his fears and dreams on camera while still being comfortable with this vulnerability (an instant sign of inner strength). Which one would a woman more likely fall for?
I mean hey, we women have become strong and independent, but we’ll always want our soul mate to be an honest and strong man -- someone who’s ready to catch us when we fall in love.