Blood, Sweat, and Glittery Sandpaper

Episode 2:'s Assistant Editor thinks being able to walk, sit, or eat in a gown is overrated.

Before we dive in, treat yourself to this amazing unseen footage of Chris as the Black Swan. I mean, need I say more?



Dina didn't really have to explain that she was a fashion fanatic once he saw her closet. Or should we say the east wing. Clearly a woman with this many pairs of stilettos is not afraid to suffer for chic couture, but in hindsight she may have regretted letting Chris know that she'd be willing to endure some pain as long as she stood out from the crowd (of drag queens).


But Dina wasn't the only lady in need of some Mad Fashion this week. Our very own Alex (well, Pepper to be exact) was selected to be empress of the Night of a Thousand Gowns, and he needed to royalty-worthy headgear to complete his looks. It must be handy to work for the most outrageous designer in New York City when you also just so happen to be a drag queen.


Dina wasn't exactly pleased. I mean a dress that makes you bleed isn't exactly an easy sell (especially to the diva-licious Dina). So there was a bit of reworking to be done before the big event. Really though, being able to walk or sit or eat is totally overrated. What happened to being willing to suffer?


In order to truly channel the Jersey spirit before putting the finishing touches on the gown, the team had to re-enact the table flip scene. The first thing to note is that they happened to have appropriate wigs to impersonate each 'Wife, which officially makes Chris March Designs the coolest office on the planet. Second, clearly the resemblance between Matt and Dina is uncanny once he dons that blond wig.


In the end all the blood, sweat, and tears (and we're talking literal blood and sweat here after working with the glitter fabric of doom) paid off, and Dina nailed the old Hollywood glamor look. She was even able to walk! (Although we have no proof of whether she could sit or eat.) I have to say I thought it would have been hilarious if Alex showed up in the same dress, but I suppose Dina would have been none too pleased about that. Oh well!


P.S. that Elizabeth Taylor inspired headdress was a-mah-zing. Alex could put any Vegas showgirl to shame. Did anyone else find it reminiscent of Queen Frostine from Candyland? 

Our Cups Runneth Over

Chris thinks all the bra cups ended up looking like pink Peeps.

For starters, there was a lot in this episode that you didn't see. For example, Jene's home where we initially met is in New Jersey, and it is literally the size of a train station ! I thought they would show more of it for sure. Second, this show was split in half by the Jennifer Coolidge Mardi Gras trip, so we are funny and fresh at the beginning, and literally back to the workshop after waking up for a plane at 2:30 in the morning by the time of the fitting, dead tired. Ugh. Also, Christine gave up on the spray painting of the bra cups (which was originally Matt's idea) after about two hours. And when she heard there was a bedazzling project to be had, she got Jake into that blue suit so fast your head would spin. I can't blame her though -- I hate spray painting. Jene was a fun, breezy client. I love that she was so game to wear a dress made from bras. Also, those bras were hard to find! This episode turned ChrisMarchDesign into a factory. We churned out 400 bra cups, with each one cut out, trimmed, painted, and rhinestoned. It looked like we were farming some sort of strange item that looked like over-grown pink Peeps. But after Matt and I built the hoop and started applying them, we knew it was going to be incredible. Now, what to do about the top? Izzy was fun to shop with for bras, and the owners at Bra Tenders liked her so much they ended up giving her a set of rhinestoned pasties as a gift. (You can see them quickly in one scene stuck to the outside of her blouse.) With boned bustier in hand, we went back to the "farm" to help out with the harvest. I thought she was going to end up looking completely naked, so on the way to the shop the morning of the fitting I stopped for some magenta fabric to make a quick stole. It came out so cute, with a zebra lining and bow. (Her favorite thing besides pink -- zebra!) She actually had a zebra clutch to match. Another thing you don't see -- her event was literally around the corner from my studio (how convenient!), so she got dressed and left directly from there with the camera crew.

This show contains my "gay MacGuyver of fashion" line, and now I remember why. We did use a lot of crazy stuff to make this one...including nylon webbing, backpack buckles, fishing line, office clips, electrical cable ties, hooping, a pricing gun, and a ton of spray paint. Not exactly couture, but we turned out a winner! I thought the end result was the perfect balance of flattering, whimsical, sexy, fun, and outrageous -- just like Jene. So it just goes to show you that all you need is a couple of hundred bras to make the perfect party dress.

See you soon,