Amanda

Amanda explains why she'll never hook up with the male model.

Mar 31, 2009

This week, we are awoken by a loud pan noise and Tyson calling us maggots! Ha! Oh my gosh! The sun isn’t even up yet. This is so not OK!

When we go outside, there is a huge army truck waiting to drive us somewhere. It was freezing in that truck, but we got to the location and saw a huge battleship! I’ve never seen a ship that big in my life, and there were so many ideas of what we might be doing going through my head.

We meet up with Tyson and Nicole and they tell us that today’s shoot will be about breaking the rules.

We were all dressed up in uniform and we would be sneaking off to have an erotic experience with two other people. I’m pretty scared because I’ve never had a threesome before! Also, I got paired up with Jordan and I’m a bit afraid of how well we’ll mesh because for some unknown reason we don’t really get along.

But thankfully, after the shoot we are on completely good terms. I’m actually glad that I got paired up with her because it’s made the tension completely disappear. Plus, I think we did an amazing job on our photo shoot! It was a bit uncomfortable getting into character because I am far from a lesbian, but it turned out really beautiful once we got our picture back. I’m really happy with the overall composition. 

So, on our day off, everyone is trying to get Gabe and I to hook up. It’s funny, but at the same time I’m getting really uncomfortable.

My baby’s father and I have been off and on for so long and he’s treated me in a way that would shock the world. But I’ve stayed with him because I never pictured myself not being with the father of my child. I have been trying so hard to convince myself that everything he’s done to me was OK. But this experience has been amazing in the fact that I’m finally on the outside looking in and I’ve realized that I don’t have to be with someone who makes me so unhappy, and I don’t have to pretend anymore. It feels really good to have Gabe flirt with me because I thought that because I have a son, I’m not desirable. But flirting is as far as it’s going to go with me and Gabe. I’m still trying to get over what I’ve been through in my last relationship, and I’m definitely not ready to jump into another.

Me and Gabe are really good friends and that’s all it will ever be.

So at the catwalk the next day, we met up with Tyson and Nicole, and they told us that we weren’t done with breaking the rules. The girls would be dressed up with suits and the boys would be wearing skirts, ha! I’m so excited about this! It’s even in my name — I’m A “man” da!

After walking the runway, I felt really good. I have a good picture, and a good catwalk. When Tyson told Jordan, Branden, and I that we were safe, I feel amazing. I’m glad that I redeemed myself from last week.  And to make it even better, CJ’s gone! This competition is starting to get really good and finally feels real.