When I woke up, I was determined to rock the photo shoot, whatever it was going to be. As Tyson and Nicole told us that it was going to be a nude shoot and all about the accessories, I was a little nervous. My one and only insecurity in the competition was getting nude because I’m not fully comfortable with my body. But I put all of my inhibitions aside and walked into the photo shoot confident. And the more I faked it, the more the confidence became real. Now, I’m completely comfortable with my body. It feels great to finally love my own skin. Not to mention, I felt great in the actual shoot. I’m praying to God that I took a good picture. I need this to stay here another week.
Nicole came and showed me my picture … and I was very disappointed. At the photo shoot, I could see my frames coming up on the screen and I was amazed with what I saw, so when I saw the picture the photographer picked, I guess I didn’t really understand. I’m anticipating going into the elimination being in the bottom now. But I do think there are a few people that deserve to go home before me.
It’s runway day and we see Nicole walking down the runway with a fish bowl over her head. So I’m thinking “What?” We do the practice run and it’s way harder than it looks. The glass bowl weighs a good 20-25 lbs and is messing up my balance. I definitely have my work cut out for me. But to make matters worse, they tell us we would have 30 butterflies inside the bowl!!! Regardless of how hard this was with butterflies flying around hitting my face, I really felt like I did a good job on the catwalk. At deliberation, I’m talking to the judges and Salome interrupts and says that she’s sick of me “complaining” and “making excuses,” which is ridiculous! Even the judges backed me up saying that I was just answering their questions. Salome is really on her last string with me. She is fake and disrespectful. I have really held my composure with her, and feel that at this point, I’m about to snap. The judges had a lot of really good things to say about me. They liked my picture and everyone liked my walk except for Perou (which isn’t surprising because he loves to hate everyone).
In the end the judges decided to send me home. Looking back I still don’t really know why I was kicked off. That’s how reality TV goes though. I definitely think out of all the people still left, I could work just as much, if not more. I’m still very shocked.
But, for every bad thing I could say not being on the show, there are ten more good things that I’ve taken from this experience. Even though there was a lot of drama in the house and the competition was tough, I loved every minute of it. I know this isn’t the end for me. The last thing I said to the judges was, “You might not be able to make me into a supermodel, but you made me into a damn good model.”
And it’s soooo true. I’m not done trying to pursue my dream. This experience has made me even more hungry. I’m so thankful for being able to be here. I’ve got my whole life ahead of me.