CJ

CJ explains why she hated the beautiful freak challenge.

Mar 23, 20090

Our next photo shoot was supposed to be all about emotions. We were in a mirrored box and had to show an emotion. I was feeling really down today and I was very sick. I had a really bad sinus infection that made me feel like I was going to pass out and a bad chest cold that made it difficult to breathe. So it was pretty much a shitty day. I tried to show vulnerability and a person who doesn’t recognize themselves when they look in the mirror. The winners got to go to Montreal Fashion Week and walk in the show. I was actually relieved I didn’t win because I felt like such shit.

I no longer cared about anything because I couldn’t handle living in a house with a bunch of catty bitches that wanted nothing more than to make everyone else miserable.

Our runway this week was the most humiliating out of them all. I’m so embarrassed just thinking about it. We all looked so stupid. It was called “beautiful freaks” and we were told to tell a story and just be weird walking down the runway. I was so unhappy with my outfit. I was put in a tiny thong with a prosthetic leg and a beaded shirt that showed lots of cleavage. I looked like a hooker on drugs. My ass was completely exposed and I was not feeling good about publicly humiliating myself. The leg they had me wear had tiny screws that cut my legs up and we had to stand there in pain for hours. Apparently the stupid c*nt bitch guest judge wanted to punch me in the face for being in pain as she sat her ass in a chair comfortably waiting for an elimination. I was so f**king mad about everything at this point. I felt defeated and I felt alone. I was so unhappy that Shawn was eliminated. He was the only person who took the time to get to know me, and when I heard the things that were said to him I wanted to quit. I no longer cared about anything because I couldn’t handle living in a house with a bunch of catty bitches that wanted nothing more than to make everyone else miserable.

12 comments
Lose your head
Lose your head

Truly it was certainly interesting for me to read the article. Thank you for it. I like such topics and anything connected to this matter. I definitely want to read more on that blog soon.

Elias
Elias

Sweety....you are showing to the world that you are immature and full of yourself...You need to realize that you being on this show is an honor for you and each of the other contestants...people have been illiminated whose attitudes were SO much better than your's...don't take the chance you have here for granted...open your eyes and mind and quit complaining!

Viewer
Viewer

CJ I love you the most and I think you do great on the runway and photoshoots! Don't let these things get to you and don't let the rest of those models bring you down! Your the best!

Pam
Pam

CJ calm down girl you can be this supermodel. I see it in you very much. You have a beutiful smile and love the blonde but brunnete hair makes you softer. Please CJ work that beutiful smile and you will go far hun. In the house i see you are haveing a hard time with others I would to but don't make enamies hun. Be yourself but try and comunnicate with the others a little have fun hun this is your time of your life. And CJ Rock these models out of your way you can do it please have fun you will see u will suprise yourself and all the others. I NO YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE THE SUPERMODEL ALL THE WAY if you drop the guard down and have fun and cofidents in your self.

Roni
Roni

Waa! Waa! Quit whining and grow up.

Siegfried
Siegfried

While I loved your mirror photos, your catwalk was a bit freakish! Okay, I realize you WERE supposed to be a freak but you were just a little too freakin' freaky for me! But for that matter so was everyone else so don't take that as a criticism. As far as the photos, well I've only got one word for you: "WOOF!"

Viewer
Viewer

I have to agree with Sarah on this one. You're terribly negative and you put the blame on anything and everyone else. Your comments on the stylists choices and your runway assignments are pretty bad too. Go do some research on those extremely conceptual designs in fashion. You're beautiful girl, but you have a stanky attitude you need to clean up.

Janelle
Janelle

Hey CJ, it's Janelle, the little girl with red hair. My mom lets me watch your parts of every show. I agree with you, they should not have dyed your hair, but you are still pretty. It's not just me who has to believe in you, you have to believe in yourself. Always think positive and show them you can win this competition. I pray for you to win every night. You shine like a star and I wish you the best of luck.

Viewer
Viewer

CJ, I hope that you will be able to let your natural blonde hair show again. Although you look great as a brunette, I think the famous hairstylist did not judge your hair correctly. Your long blonde hair was fabulous and should have been left alone. Hang in there and best wishes.

Sarah
Sarah

CJ, you are a great model. I think you are really strong and are improving each week. Honestly though, you are the most negative model in this competition. Each blog is about how much you hate everything, and you curse out the judges and talk about how terrible everyone else you are competing against is. That could have something to do with why you feel so alone.. Everyone else is in the competition to win and to do well. They understand that this competition involves doing some things you may not feel comfortable doing, but it's all part of the job. I know you hate brunettes, but I think you look great a brunette and i think your modeling has been much stronger since they made the change. I think if you want to win this, which i don't doubt you have the potential to do, you should start getting comfortable with yourself and understand that unless you want to model in Pac Sun ads, you'll get it together and appreciate what you have right now. You were chosen out of thousands. Good luck.

Viewer
Viewer

CJ you are the best one in the house, i hate everyone else, except Shawn (i'll miss him).

Kel
Kel

I was surprised to see you cursing out a judge online for the whole world to see. I know you are young. But in any business, it's not good to burn bridges. And I definitely think that when cursing, it's a good idea to avoid misogyny. Just some words of wisdom. I don't know anything about modeling, but I know about being professional.