The next day was the catwalk. In fact, Matthew was on panel this week. We were to model 3 different looks, high fashion lingerie, funkie and couture! There was a surprise -- Christian from Project Runway was a guest, he was going to show us how he wanted us to walk for each look and the big part is that he made a dress just for me! I couldn't believe it, he made it in one day! The dress was amazing, so I knew I had to work it for him!
Panel was really tough this week, they gave us the good and the bad. They had a lot to say to me this week especially about my body. They said I need to work on it a lot and the worst part was Matthew said he wouldn't book me based on my body, which sucks to hear! Your body is something you can change, but I've spent my entire modeling career trying to please people. 'You need to do this, you need to do that' and this is who I am. Everyone is going to find something wrong with me, or what they would change.
A few years ago I really had to accept that this is who I am. I can change my body but my body doesn't make me any lesser of a model. I'm driven, I'm persistent, I never take no as an answer. I have dreamed about this my whole life, I've put so much time and effort into just researching this business and going to agencies. I've dealt with rejection before.
I just love this industry, I love clothes, vintage, trend setting. I love picking up that outfit that no one else would ever buy, and putting it on and everybody wanting one. I love the rush I get stepping on that catwalk! This is what I love doing and if I could just work and do this everyday I would be happy. Whether its going to castings, doing a photo shoot or a catwalk, I just want to work. That's my real dream, 100,000 dollars! I want that contract so America, if you pick me, I won't let you down!