Kerryn

Kerryn discusses her breakdown in this week's episode and how it led her to victory.

Mar 17, 2009

Today we took a school bus to our location that ended up in Nutley, NJ. People went crazy when Tyson showed up, definitely an interesting experience. Tyson and Nicole told us that we would be shooting while hanging from wires, wow! So I totally thought I could rock this shoot and ended up starting weak and finishing really strong. Once I got a soccer ball the game was on. My baby girl Amanda won the shoot and decided to take me along … super cool … until I was told I couldn’t be booked until I had more confidence, so I broke down, which I think I needed the cry but it still sucked. I felt like I was letting everyone back home down. So I gave myself a big pep talk and had a great cry in the shower and got myself ready to rock the runway.

We got to the runway today and were told that this week it was about the pose. It was hard for everyone. I know we all tried our best. Elimination was great for me. I got immunity this week so I’m safe for another week but they ripped apart Salome, Amanda, and Karen. When they chose to send Karen home, my heart stopped. Totally unexpected and it took all the excitement out of winning. I feel like I lost a good competitor today, and it should be a good thing, but it’s hard to be excited when it’s really sad and depressing for everyone around you. And by the way, the judges were proud of my shot and my walk. My confidence totally came up this week. Yea!

Oh and Perou called me a muffin top. Grr. Dieting is not my thing but to win this I’m going to have to step it up.

By the way Sandhurst is a jerk!!

Confidence is a big part of making it in this industry and being told you don’t have any makes you feel like you won’t make it after all of my tears. I got angry which is a good emotion for me. I can turn it into whatever I want. Usually it helps me get things done. I almost want to thank Sandhurst for pissing me off right before runway. Anger drove me to do my best. Period. Whether or not anyone thought I deserved immunity, I got it, they didn’t. I may not have even been able to celebrate, but I’m not one to gloat anyway so I showed the kids whats up this week. Be afraid, be very afraid! I’m taking this one home!