My Lack of Excitement

Stephanie copes with a hectic first week.


I can't believe how much has happened in only the first week! I've been thrust into this crazy that I've never been a part of before and it is insane! My week started with losing all contact with the outside world, turned in my cell phone and started having phantom pains immediately! At first, it was really weird not being able to talk to my friends and my boyfriend about all of the crazy things that have been happening and running through my head but we've been so busy that I've really had little time to be bothered by that. Plus, it's kind of liberating without a phone - although I do miss the people I used to talk to on it. Our house is incredible, buddha's inexplicably accessorising every room, very eastern and trendy - ha ha ...

Although before we even got to the house, we had our first photo shoot in Times Square! In a mini dress! In 10 degree weather! It was surreal - so much fun! Then there was fire challenge, which I thought was a little self righteous - a group of 14 models throwing their winter fur coats into a fire to "prove how badly they wanted to be a supermodel" in the middle of the city with one of the most blatantly obvious homeless populations in the US.

If they had a box in the centre of us and asked us to take off items to show personal sacrifice that would be given to people that could actually use it - as opposed to burning them in a fire - I would have got naked like the rest of the boys. I just thought it was kind of a self obsessed, self righteous, socially unaware of socially irresponsible assignment - especially considering where we are. But enough with the preaching. That night was the GQ party, which was fabulous - and I come home giddy and starry eyed over the whole thing. Then, our first catwalk. The panel commented on my lack of excitement, which I was worried they might say something about. The last thing I want in the world is to come off as ungrateful or bored with this opportunity - I am blessed and I know this is a once in a lifetime thing. But I think what they were talking about is the fact that I have very little experience in this business and in this scene, and it sometimes manifests itself as a wariness.

Thrust into this new world so different than the one I left at school in Claremont, I tend to just take things as they happen and take my time forming my opinions, which means that I might not be as loud as some of the rest of the people. Also, I am certainly a very passionate excited person, but I also have a very laid back personality and sometimes don't show my personality in quite the loud, hyperbolic way that some of the other models do. That being said, I don't want my experience or personality to come off as bored or un-excited as any way - so I'm going to try and be aware of that from now on.

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