Colin explains what went wrong.
So … this is the week that I go home.
Yeah, so I spoiled the ending. I didn’t want all of my fans to ruin their keyboards with all their tears when they reach the dramatic conclusion of this entry and learn the bad news. So I’m putting it out there now. I go home. It’s lame.
This week started with another long drive through the country to get to our photo shoot. Earlier we speculated that we’d be working with animals based on the message left on the computer. When we arrived at the stables it was pretty obvious we’d be working with farm animals. Central VA ain’t the most urban place in the world. I’ve been around cows and horses and such, so I won’t be weirded out or anything by the novelty of a large animal.
The steer I ended up working with was a pretty difficult partner. I was supposed to look rugged and masculine with an animal that was alternatingly lazy and stubborn. Also, my outfit (while being totally cowboy-esque) kind of made me look like a dandy. I tried to compensate by working hard with the steer to try and convey motion and strength.
When I saw my picture I figured the judges would either love it or be bored with it. During the shoot I was all over the place giving a variety of poses and whatnot. I feel like my picture did one of the best jobs out of everyone as far as accomplishing what was asked of us and telling a cowboy story. However, if the judges want to find fault with it (because, I mean, I don’t exactly look good in the photo, a problem, potentially) they will. I thought in the very least that the judges would like that I continue to diversify my portfolio and try new things instead of rely on just kinda lookin pretty (like some unnamed models who remain). Alas, we know how this story ends.
I put a lot of pressure on myself for this catwalk. It’s really impossible for me to convey to you, dear reader, how tense I felt before stepping in front of the judges. Walking for practice and even in Montreal was so much easier. I don’t know what it is about the panel that sucks out my ability to just play it cool and walk. A fear of elimination that outweighed the excitement of how awesome the clothes are? Probably. But I think the judges read it as insecurity, which isn’t entirely true. It’s ironic I suppose that my fear of being eliminated and subsequent clamming up on the runway ended up being the largest contributor to my being sent home. It sucks though, a lot. And I feel like the look this week was perfect for me. What can I say? I kind of blew it.
My experience on the show is over. Time to switch on the sentimentalism. I can’t overstate how incredible everything has been. I never expected something like this to happen to me and I’m very grateful.
Alright, enough of that. Time to think about the future. I’m definitely not done with either school or modeling. I’m not quite sure what the timing for each is though. I still have a lot to learn about the fashion industry and I look forward to doing it without those pesky cameras recording my every mistake. Until this whole thing started, I hadn’t even thought that I could be a model. Now that I know that I can, and that I like it, I can’t wait to pursue it. This was a good first step. Actually, I would say this was more like a good first couple of steps.
We had some good times.