In tonight's episode I had hoped for healing. As I was forced to again view this fiasco, I realized it resembled a WWF (Women's World Wrestling Federation) scene. As a physician, I know that all living creatures have been designed with the ability to heal; I do know that we can heal from this. Healing takes place only in the proper environment. You also have to be mentally available to heal.
Tonight, I am not quite sure if it was the environment or mental state, but they were definitely not ready for healing. I am a little taken back that the Doctors (Mr. MDs) were not MORE disappointed at the Mrs. MDs behavior. I don't think that ignoring the principle "We do right because it's right," sends the proper message. There is NO justification for grown women fighting, especially at friend's house.
As a mother, we try to get our teenage daughters/sons to refrain from being bullied or being a bully. Somebody missed the memo! The WWF squad broke all etiquette rules. We learn communication skills from the moment we are born. Opening the lines of communication is imperative to function in our day-to-day lives, and is a must in the business world. Mariah and Toya are two educated women that must have skipped class on that day. I don't feel like Toya or Mariah are willing to take ownership of this unnecessary altercation.
You are supposed to be an example and the voice of reason however, you took Toya's word and didn't give Miriah a chance. Your credibility has just been depleted and you fell into the drama and mess. You clearly drew the line in the sand, you are not a friend to Miriah and you cleary showed you were on Toya's side. Your words say one thing but your actions show something else.
Once again, your thoughts are spot on... Except that you're talking about a reality show! Why are you not offended by ugly Kari's behavior?
My concern is taking -sides w/ Toya, clearly the 'Good Drs. watched the tape. In the begining, messy 'Toya, started w/ Quad @ Mariah's house party. Come on, are you blind? Toya, stirred 'Quad the wrong way no fight pursued but it was bound to happen.Toya, is a unhappy, miserable person hiding behind her flaws.She likes 2 come stir, up trouble. Take Notice! she always comes alone.She has 2 much time on her hands 2 be envy of 'Mariah, Quad.
You only heard Toya's part and didn't listen clearly to Mariah. I hope after watching the show you realize that Toya was a liar. I am shocked that you as a doctor couldn't wait to hold off judgement. I guess you aren't as smart as I thought your were. You want to come off as someone who is thoughtful and insightful but you come off as someone that listens to those you "believe" is better than you.
You are going to be the calming factor to this show. I clearly feel that M was angry all day, told her whole family, stewed drank for more then 2 hours, clearly, she never answered Kari's requests for help at all. Just because you have a bigger house, doesn't mean your a bigger, kinder more thought full lady. M should have called Toya, since she knows she can and will get violent, because of the natura of the gossip. Toya seemed genially surprised at Miriahs snarky mother. I agree if I had a friend thats mom was acting rude, I would ask hey what's up? (We the audience don't know how long you all have known each other ?) in seeing my friend was intoxicated, I would say, well chat about it tomorrow! However Alcohol gave no one a chance! Very disappointing!
Dr. Jackie, I watched you the first show has you sat on your invisible but yet very visible judgmental high horse of the ladies at Mariah's home. Your words sound nice, but you are not all that given that you had this dinner yet did not invite Mariah or Quad. If you really trying to be the unbiased mediator, meet alone with Toya then meet alone with Mariah. That is what a true impartial peacemaker does
Dr. Jackie, if you sincerely wanted to appear to NOT choose sides, it would have been prudent of you to meet the ladies in the same setting on different occasions since you perhaps rightly didn't want both in your house at the same time. You should either have met them both in the office or both in your home-- ALONE-- not with an audience.
Plus, you talked to a group ABOUT Mariah but you only talk TO Mariah. That's why I said you should've met with both of them ALONE.
You say one thing but you've certainly done another. You chose sides. Face it.
And it's sad because I like how dignified you are. I'm wanting to believe that you mean well towards Mariah and Quad but the more I see you, the more I distrust your motives. And the way you 'moderated' this fight didn't help my perspective.
Thank you for being a voice of reason, and a true demonstration of class, self respect, and most especially self control.
What a beautiful ending. I do believe we all have egos and pride, but if we as individuals get out of our own way, how easier life will become.
I don't know how I feel about you yet. With that said, first: you weren't at the party, but I guess you decided to investigate, I think
I feel you don't like Mariah just by how you handled the situation; one gets the home and warm friendly with my buddies treatment and the other gets the office interrogation atmosphere. They could have both come to your home on different nights or times, but I know we only invite people to our homes we like.
Below are a few steps you should try. They work for me quite will when conducting investigations. I know you like some of the ladies better than others, but you really need to take your emotions out of the equation. It's about finding out the truth, getting facts, and weeding through the B.S., which is what you'll get in a group setting.
For the future, if you are going to take on that role also, an Investigator, talk to the two individuals involved in the actual incident. Leave the drama team out because you will never get the true story. Your first question to the other ladies should have been; were you there? How did it start? Who hit first? And when they can't give an answer, you'll know everything they say is irrelevant; that's only if you're really looking for the truth and to help and not stir the pot.
Please try to be a little more tolerant of people who don't act like you.
Well said Dr. Jackie!!!! Well said. I know each of you have a role on this show and mediator and mentor is yours. You did approach both of them albeit in different ways, you did provide them both a platform and asked they both "OWN" their part in the fight. Both of them claimed they acted out of character but I firmly believe we saw them for exactly who they are.....woman who have no idea what situational and professional awareness is.
As a viewer, I was quite disappointed to see you take Toya's side of the fight, without giving Mariah the chance to tell her side of the battle.
I love you. It is nice to see woman who have their stuff together. I can't stand how the other woman walk around like they are hot stuff, just because of their husbands accomplishments.
You and Simone are way too good for these other "ladies"....separate yourselves for the sake of your reputations!
@itsagreatday dr jackie and dr simone throw petty jabs at eachother and theother women. They are no better with their mean girl behavior. Dr simone is straight ghetto. Neither one of these drs can point the finger or look down on anyone.
Just cannot understand why you first invited everyone but Mariah to the dinner? Why not Mariah instead of Toya. Clearly you took sides before you even spoke to Mariah, even though you tried to make it appear otherwise. And two why would you think it was ok for Kari to make a degrading comment that Mariah should bow down on her knees and kiss her ring. Is Mariah really the only culprit among you'll or is she just an easy target because "she came from nothing" as Kari has stated so many times. Yes I agree that you should not tell your business if you don't want it retold, but it should be obvious to you that she considered Toya a friend, so why did you not speak to Toya about her integrity? You instead questioned Mariah about hers?? Real one sided...is all I'm saying. I think you should look at the tape! Toya instigated the entire situation and then played the victim and all of you acted as if it was ok? I am surprised at you most of all.
Dr. Jackie -- You are one classy lady!
You are an inspiration to all 'women' and girls.
Thank goodness someone on this show has something to say worth hearing!
I agree w/your take on what happened. I also understand not having Toya & Mariah at the same dinner...but it was off having Toya and all the ladies BUT Mariah & Quad. Mariah gets called to your office but Toya for a nice dinner at your home. Ummmm???
I've read all of the blogs from the cast and I guess my only question is, if none of you were really friends with Mariah and obviously have so little respect for her, why did any of you agree to participate in a show where she is the executive producer? I don't get it???
This show is not for you. It is casting a negative light on you and your practice. I know that so far it has given you a platform to talk about breast cancer. At the same time, we all saw the wigs and costumes that your cast mates showed up in. Do you really want to be associated with this group? Think about it. I keep trying to find a good reason for you to be on this show and I keep coming up empty handed. I keep thinking about you working hard at going to medical school, building a practice, and also building up an excellent reputation. Do you want to tarnish it in any way? I wouldn't want to. But, JMHO.
So you invite Toya, Kari, and Simone to your house to have dinner and discuss what happened but you left out Quad and then when you did meet with Mariah it was at your office and not house that has been the only thing that I have not liked about you since the show begin please don't let the ladies bring you into the drama let them act classless don't get caught up in the drama let them solve their own problems
Is your last name Mcgraw? because you sure like to be Dr. Phil. i suggest if you want more children either give birth or adopt . Let these grown women be grown and handle their problems.
purpleprincess1 She cannot give birth. Her cancer caused that. Paying attention to detail is useful. I'd hate for her to read that line. Jackie is judgmental. She should fall back a little, and I really didn't appreciate her rush to judgement here, but she certainly has her place on the show, and they all seem to be very aware of her personality before putting her on here.
Analog girl i was not aware that Dr Jackie was enable to have children .that breaks my heart. for that i'm sorry however she should still stay out of this mess let mariah and toya settle this matter themselves. she wasn't there she didn't see what happend. all she's working with is rumors and theatrics. so this is one pot that she doesn't need to pee in
Dr. Jackie, I love you. I don't know what is with all these negative comments below, but they better check the facts. You were not sideing with Toya you told her to take half the blame and be accountable for her actions which she did. If Mariah was all that, she would have walked away or said not at this time. There was something up from the moment that she arrived. You are a very classy lady. Keep being yourself fantasic self!
@Perfectsmile She definitely sided with Toya. Marriah comes off as confident and strong so maybe that's to much for the good doctors. I hope Marriah never talks one on one to hear again. That crying scene was heart wrenching. I could see Jackie was affected, but when she got on camera she said the opposite. Very sad. Both those ladies are wrong. The more we see the more I believe toya has been plotting and scheming to have attention.
Perfectsmile Yes she did say all the things below but the point is she was siding with Toya because she invited Toya to her house where there was a nice meal and invited Mariah to her office where she didn't even offer the lady a drink of water.... As you should clearly be able to see that was shady becuase if she wanted to stay nuetral, Dr. Jackie would of invited both to the office. Especially after only inviting one because of being scared they will fight... If that was me neither one of them would be in my house and that's that. Dr. Jackie sided with Toya alone with Dr. Simone and Kari... Even though Dr. Jackie is somewhat the role model. In this episode she failed, she showed that she is all for the drama alone with Dr. Simone and I hope both of them feel somewhat bad about how they went by talking to the ladies after watching last night.
Jackie isnt a role model..Hell remember she got mad at her husband because she wanted to be called her step daughter's mother and he refuse to say..But she was offended to be called a STEPMOTHER..Jackie and Simone both are just as fake and phoney..
Perfectsmile I wouldn't go as far as to say she sided with Toya, but she definitely reacted to the two ladies quite differently without having all the facts. That's certainly confusing to us viewers who's watched Toya's rude and manipulative behavior. From Mariah, all we've gotten is a bunch of over the top YASSSSSSSSSSS. Jackie seems to have jumped the gun on this one. Mariah and Quad are not villains, and haven't displayed anything that suggests that they provoke drama yet. Their tutus may not have been the best decision in hindsight, but those women walked 30 miles and gave money. None of the other women did. I'm confused as it seems many others are, why Jackie seems to have been quite harsh with Mariah but a lot less blaming with Toya.
@Perfectsmile Mariah did walk away! Toya was determined to be heard! Do you have On Demand? Go back and watch the episode!
Jackie, I can't put my finger on it with you, but there's something about you that does not seem authentic. You appear to edit your true personality in front of the camera. Although you say you don't take side, you already have. You invited Toya to your house and not Mariah and Quad. I'm not doctor, but that decision doesn't take the intelligence of a doctor to see you sided with Toya. ( shady as an 100 yr old oak tree)
@loejj77. Did I miss something? Does anyone get why it might be a bad idea to have Mariah and Toya or Toya and Quad in the same place. Dr Jackie is the only one that is the same all the time
You need to take your own advice. You need to get the facts and STOP taking secondhand information. You weren't there and have no idea what actually happened or why and you are appeariing to take Toya's word as truth. You appear to be totally on Toya's side. Even people that were at the party don't know how it started or why it happened, not even Kari knows what happened or why. She's taking Toya's word as truth because Toya is trying to buy her way out of any guilt. Apparently Kari is desperate for the money. I really don't understand why you and Dr. Simone think that you 2 need to be the peace makers between any of these women. Who are you to be judge and jury of who is more right or more wrong in this??? Do you think that because Toya offers money and an appology she isn't a liar??? Toya clearly started this fight! These are grown adults. If they don't know how to behave by now, you're not going to teach them.
Dr. Jackie, I see a fake, phony person in you as well. Talking and Walking are 2 very different functions. You talk one way, but your actions tell a whole other story. From the first episode, I've watch you and Kari look down your noses at all of the ladies. You really aren't as deep as you would like to think you are. Your just as two faced and back handed as Toya and Kari. You can use $50 words all day and seem empathetic and compasionnate. You paid good money for that training and you are good at it, but that's all it really is. You are not a friend to any of these women. Your just on the show for filler. I'm not sure how the heck these women came about to thinkin you are so wise and all knowing. Please. I see you!.
Faithful744 I can agree that Dr. Jackie is an amazing lady, but definitely isn't as deep as she thinks she is. She' s takes herself a bit too seriously in a way that suggests her way is the only method to the madness of success. Not so. She strikes me as someone who believes life is a meritocracy, so she'll skip out on the networking event. Those people often are successful in their own right, but strike me as the type of folks that would be a lot more fulfilled if they could see the forest instead of the trees.
Dr. Jackie, I really, really like you. I see you don't put yourself in the fray and do your best to help others understand that this is not how women are supposed to behave. Keep on talking maybe these wilder beast of women will finally get it. I like Toya, I think she just missed a couple of lessons on how to act like a woman and how to be a friend. Now for Mariah, all she needs to do is come off the phony act she has potential of being a better woman, but she too needs to learn how to be a friend. I think mainly what the women's problem is, is plain ole green eyed monster called jealousy. JMO.
diamondgg What is likable about Toya? Serious question. I was turned off by 1. Her referencing the text. That was our introduction to Toya. THen we see her talking to her husband and cutting him off saying "you can't say I think." It's like I have to try really really hard to do exactly what they said in counseling because that's good communication, and I otherwise wouldn't know how to communicate. In her blog for that episode, she touts that marriage counseling was a requirement for her before and they continue. Nice, but again she does it it in a hey look at me. Sensible people go to marriage counseling to learn how to communicate type way. Next we see her "surprise" her husband with a realtor, and describe the amenities of a house she wants as if she's the kid on Blank Check. We see her discussing Lauren's paternity w/her husband fully aware that cameras were rolling. Also (FYI a credible Atlanta blogger reported that it's rumored by folks in the know that Toya reached out to Lauren's biological aunt in an attempt to film with her, and I believe it. But let's go back to what we see. That conversation taking place at that time is quite odd, particularly when Mariah admits that their relationship is strained and she told her that nearly 2 years ago. THat also made it much more believable that she was discussing Lauren at the hairshop. To date, beyond not being besties, Mariah hasn't given Toya any energy that suggests Lake would manufacture this story to give Toya some more airtime. Next we see her approach Mariah about her mother and the wrong time and wrong place. Then we see her disproportionate oveReaction to Mariah's hairflip. Then she's not accepting full responsibility and comments that that's why she waited until she was married. Legitimate question. What has Toya done thusfar that makes her likable?
I didn't say she was the best doc's wife/person I just find her to be a more likeable person with redeemable qualities, she just needs guidance. For the reasons you listed that you don't like her there are some qualities about her that I like. Mariah (Tamar wannabe) I find nothing about her redeemable she is just phony to me plain and simple. As far as I'm concerned that LocoLucy mama of Mariah's put the wheels in motion for this fight to happen. I live by the adult adage we can agree to disagree. Deuces!! JMO
If Toya is educated then I missed the memo on that one. She sounds like an idiot, her inability to verbalize a simple sentence is amazing. She sounds like a 4 year old at times. Grammar is not her strong suit, it appears she missed a few classes while getting her education.
There's nothing wrong with being the voice of reason, but you seem to exude a very haughty spirit. Yes, both women needed to know that they were wrong for their actions, but who died and made you Ghandi? On the first episode, Mariah told you that you had a "snobby" attitude, and as I continue to tune in to the show I can agree. These are grown women; if they don't want to take responsibility for their actions and move on, who are you to push the issue? That is all!
@Ultimate_Diva These grown women are showing up to talk to her. I didn't see Mariah come via police car in handcuffs. Free will is what they call it!
This week, I would have liked to hear you opine about your actions rather than giving your general Ghandilike advice. You appear to rush to take sides in this situation, and I am curious as to the reason for your actions. You’re the sensible one. We get it. But you certainly aren’t above reproach, and I was more interested in hearing from your about why you chose to respond each woman: Toya and Mariah,the way you did. Right now, your course of actions is making your appear a bit self-righteous and disingenuous in your relationship with Mariah. It is interesting to me that your take is that both women still refused to accept responsibility or justify their actions when Mariah’s blog, this week and the last, has reflected regret and admitted there is no justification for her behavior. Based on what viewers have seen of Toya thus far, I’m sure you can understand why we’re curious about your rationale this go round.