Toya: Ladies, You Really Need to Be Open
Toya gives her personal tips for spicing up a marriage.
Since some of the ladies seem a little uptight when it comes to keeping the spice in their marriage, I figure I would give them some ideal tips on how to keep your hubby happy. And you know I know how to keep my husband happy, so this #MYLF has some useful advice. Plus, the ladies always comment on how much Eugene spoils me, so obviously I'm doing something right! #happywifehappylife
Prior to becoming a wife, my idea of marriage was finding someone that I could trust, someone that loved me, and treated me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. We would get together, travel the world, and after that embark on having children and starting a family. We would be happy forever and ever…but wait just like when you are at the club and someone bumps the DJ table, the needle scratches across the record, and the room gets quiet. I realized keeping your marriage interesting required a lot more than a story book outline. I recall reading an article some time ago that stated a couple that knows how to play together develops a bond that can carry them through difficult times. That was something that stuck with me, so I knew when I did find my Mr. Right, I was going to make sure not only did we have a great life, but we enjoyed each other and the great life we lived.
My husband is my best friend. We have developed and grown together over the years, and I am blessed that we still have a lot of fun together. And to be honest, if you can't have fun with the one your are with, they may go seek their fun elsewhere. Eugene and I are all about exploring new things. Now don't don't get it twisted, we are not like Tarzan and Jane swinging from vine to vine. We are about travel, excitement, and living in the moment. As soon as the kids go to sleep, it is play time for Mommy and Daddy. We will enjoy a cigar together, jump in the jacuzzi together, pull out our favorite fun pillow, and act out a few chapters of our Kama Sutra book. What is the thing you hear most men say? They like a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed…ALL DAY!
Ladies, you really need to be open. Going to a strip club with your man is like watching the trailers before a movie starts. Everyone enjoys the trailers, but it is just a warm-up for the main show, which you are anxiously awaiting. I pride myself on being Eugene's main show. Which is why I work hard to keep it tight and right. Eugene does the world for me, and I am all about returning the favor for my partner.
So here are a few things I think work for keeping the spice in your marriage:
1. Make time. Time is our greatest asset. So why not give time to the person that means the most to you?
2. Spend time with other couples...as long as they are not the type that yell and say demeaning things to you at the top of their lungs. But seriously, we get together with other couples and plan outings or vacations, because when you are in like-minded company, you get the support and encouragement you need, because they too understand married life.
3. Use a variety to spice things up. Trying something new together creates a bond, and you may discover an activity that you never thought you would enjoy. Which is why I am not against doing anything with my husband, including going to a strip club. It does not mean I am an advocate of the occupation, but I get its purpose. Or at least the purpose it serves for us, every now and again.
4. Include the kids. We are all about a good road trip. We will load up the truck, put the sleeping bags in the backseat and head out. Family fun all day long. #harrisfamilyvacation
5. Fun doesn't have to be expensive. Ummmm, hmmmm, wellll…what I mean is…Jokes guys, but I am for real. You know your girl likes nice things, but I also value fun coming with no price tag. I pride myself on finding everything and anything to do together. From taking a Disney cruise to cooking a meal in the kitchen with the boys. As long as you are with family, it can be a great moment.
In a nutshell, marriage can be challenging, but if you work at it, use creativity, and most importantly keep God first, you have a better chance of maintaining your happily ever after. I can truly sing Pharell's song as loud as I can "Because I'm Happy!" #pharellhappy
Until next time my friends,