The answer is YES YES YES. I cant stress enough how important it is to have a support system. Please go out there to cafes, libraries, clubs, just go for a walk in a park, join your local photography club (pick a club for the hobby you have), put an advert online on dating site, reconnect with your friends that live nearby. Do ANYTHING to start communicating with people and build friendships. Go do fun things together that will help you bond and become better friends. Then in the moment when u feel your throat is tightened by fear and all you can think of is that roof of that building across from yours and flying down like a bird if only for 1 minute until you hit it hard, when you feel your heart squeezed with unexplainable turmoil and the need to flush it out of your chest cavity you can reach out to your friend, stalk their doorway if needed and get that pat on shoulder and help. Sometime when your friend feels low and u want to cheer them up by taking them to new art exhibit or buying them a glass of champagne and share, you inadvertently pick your own spirits up.
Having friends is all around good. For you and for them. I am experiencing highs and lows a lot even now and I am far from where I see myself on life's map. It does not however stop me from enjoying myself in everyday simple things. I do still feel lonely and it's even worse knowing Angelika is far away in school. My cats warm my bed when I come home alone after party or a long photo shoot (to answer numerous questions about where you can see more of my work go to my website http://www.marialankina.com) and there are times when I want to "hang my chaps" and just give up. But I am not letting myself. I feel like I always can go for that later, if ever.
I choose to dream big, do my yoga every day, cycle in gym instead of shrink visits, work on my fine art and have my assistant busy with organizing my jet set travels all over the globe plotting the world take over that's OH SO SWEET and hey everyone can enjoy this ride with me! I choose to be me. When I am on a roller-coaster at amusement park, the one that scares the sh*t out of everyone - baby strapped around me and in for a ride that might make their pants wet, I am envisioning myself getting an Oscar on stage in a beautiful gown and you know what I feel? JOY and overlwelming heart warmth , not fear of the construction falling down and my insides splattering on metal railings of it. Power of visualization takes us to incredible heights. TRY IT. Tell me how it works for you.
Maria! Thank you for all that you said here..so heartfelt and true! You are a very special person..take care of yourself and your beautiful daughter...xoxo
Maria you have a great understanding of your friends. I respect you for "calling out" some of the other "socials" actions. I wish more people would do that. It makes life so much easier to deal with. With your vision and Michael...well being Michael, you two will get your friends on a meaningful path enjoying a stress-free life. Keep going to the (health) club, it helps free you mind. Eat right and exercise smart.
Maria: It is time for you to get back out there and start dating. It is very clear to me that you are a very strong women. Having said that it does not mean that you are as Happy as you want to be. With your daughter gone to school I know how very much you miss her but you are giving her the chance to better herself so that she too may become a strong women in this world. I do hope you are able to have more cam calls with her than are shown. Just remember to at all times be true to you, take care of your daughter. If you are true to you and surround yourself with honest people and people who have good energy you too will find someone to share your life with. I look forward to the next season. Live, Laugh, Love, Dance and be a person who makes a difference today for tomorrow will never be.
Peace & Blessing to You & Your daughter.
You and Mike made me laugh. You are a lovely lady. You make a great mom as well. I enjoyed watching you. Balanced and know how to juggle a busy life. Cheers
Hey!! :D I love you and I am a huge fan of the show. I was wondering if you could give me some advice. I am graduating from college this year from upstate NY and my boyfriend and I may be moving to FL. I know through the show that you are an amazing photographer and I have been trying to dabble in the modeling industry. I am very new and also pretty ignorant to the business at the moment, but I have been told and have even seen that I have charisma and what someone has said "the it". Im not too sure, but I am willing to follow modeling and see where it takes me. Would you bee able to give me advice?
You are so talented and I value your opinion. I know I have things I need to work on, so what do you say? :)
Hope to hear from you soon, and thank you for your time
Your pictures on your site are beautiful! You must have passion to shoot these. They are phenomenal. Were you a bit high when you started writing this blog. You shifted geears one you moves away from all of the cryptic suicide and stay positive talk. Weird. You are a really amazing writer as well. maybe you should do some writing on style lab.
I love your show and I say your show because I think that you are one of the few on it that has any grasp of reality. You are a very practical, down to earth person and I have to give you your props on being a single parent. Keep up the good work
Maria you are the best!!! I just read your blog and im going to tell you that you have encourged me to go and live my life.... I think your a wonderful art director... Im currently in school to become a productive makeup arist and stylist and i would love to work with you sometime in the future.... And you are an awesome mother your daughter is going to be a very well arounded young lady and with a mother like you to support her she will reach her goals and dreams.... hope to see you next season... from one south florida girl to another live each life to the fullest but be smart about it.... once again LOVE YOU....
Maria, you are one real person. I am so glad you did the show and gave people a chance to see beauty, strength and realness all in one package! You are a great mom, beautiful woman, and strong person and I just loved watching you. You are a person that has such natural beauty and tastes that it overflows into your work. Keep up your positive energy! I hope to see you in another season!
Maria, you are by far my favorite on the show. I think that you are real, true, and insightful, and that you want to share your experiences with others. Best of luck to you and your daughter.
Great blog! Thanks for taking the time to acknowledge our comments. You are not only intelligent and very beautiful, but down to earth as well.
The best of luck to you and your family!
Maria, I really liked you, but there is something I wanted to tell you. It wasn't nice to tell your date he didn't look good. I mean, if you didn't like the way he looked, you shouldn't have gone to meet him. You were rude!
Hola, I don't know if you'll ever read this comment (or anyone's comments on here), but just know that your blogging is truly inspirational and I have a great respect for you. Most people will say that this blog is b.s. but if you didn't write it then who did? People who think blogs like this are insignificant are completely stubborn. Speaking on behalf of a person with many, many issues, blogs like these remind me that people that seem so far away from the ordinary are yet so close in unique ways. Overall, my point is that blogs like these really make me happy in the sense that it makes me that I'm not alone about my thoughts and emotions. Keep up the blogging, will definately be looking foward to more blogs on your actual site =] -ViewerinChicago
Wow! I'm a Bravo junkie and just got into Miami Social later in the season and thought you were very very cool. Now? I KNOW you're incredibly cool. Amazing blog.. with amazing insights and motivations. Just.Wow!
When I asked why you picking on Katina I also complimneted you. I said you were the only sane person in the show. I admire the way you care for your daughter and make sensible decision in life.
all the best enjoyed the show
Maria - I felt so sorry for your date. You need to work on your social skills. Have you ever heard of a "conversation". Jeez, the guy was asking you questions, not because he was nosy, but because you had absolutely nothing to say and he was trying to get you to talk about something and all you could say was "nice wall"? A pretty face will only get you so far.
Without the publication of this blog, this side of you would never have been known to me at least, maybe even to the public, since Bravo has to show a side that attracts viewers. I wish those who struggle with depression, suicidal thoughts, etc would read this and watch the show because it would reach them on so many levels. Deep speaks to deep. You have gone through so much pain and now you finally have a large platform. Use it. You have the power to bless many by your presence.
Hello Katrin, Enjoyed the show....looks like you and your friends are Viva El Dolce!! I do have a question for you. As one photographer to another, I am wondering on how made your photography such a success in a only a matter of 2 years. I understand that its all talent but what else? I know that you must also have personality and all of that, but how dose one get started as a fashion/artist photographer?
Thank you for your time,
Maria, I just love you & your blogs! I will miss watching you on the show & will follow you on your website. You have a great outlook on life & seem to be the most together & real. I wish you much happiness & success in whatever you do.
I am a huge fan of the show and I am so glad I read your blogs. I have really been struggling as of late to keep myself going and i'm so glad that you shared your struggles to keep going as well. Sometimes I feel I am the only one who is depressed and struggling because no one EVER talks about that stuff. Thank you for being real and raw through your blog. You have made me feel less alone because of it. I wish they would have shown more of this side of you on the show.
I really appreciate your positive message. There is a great need for positivism these days, as too often people don't pay close enough attention on the many opportunities they can capitalize on in their lives. My work with clients focus on following their passion, living their dream life and learning to capitalize on opportunities and learning to find that spec of light in make it shine through the dark moments. Keep on inspiring...
Maria, You have a soul and spirit beyond all in the show. I pray you unleash all your talent and treasure...you are empowering and your mind and vision is very real...thank you- stay inspired and strong.
Maria is always so sexy and "femme fatale" like... i love her style and self confidence. Could somebody tell me where to get the shorts she wore when Ariel picked her up for the photo shoot/casting/interview thing? She paired them with a plaid vest... The style of the girls in Miami Social is by far the best! Let me know. Mariana
Maria I love the red flower dress you are wearing in the bravo tv promo of the show! Who makes it and where can i find it?
Please bring back Miami Social. It was so sophisticated and inspiring.....I loved all the characters...please come back.
I love the show it is fun, I hope the show will come back with a new season, but where are the black people with style and class.