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Say My Name, Bitches!
Michael reveals "straight Mike!" Plus, his favorite moments!
August 4, 2009Let me take you back really quick to the origin of “Mike.” When I was in college (American University in Washington D.C.) I was in a fraternity. I swear. It was called ZBT (Zeta Beat Tau). I’m not sure how that happened, it just did. It was mostly rich Jewish boys from Long Island and New Jersey. Really nauseating, I know. People would make fun of us and call us ‘Zillions, Billions and Trillions” and “Zany Bagel Throwers.”
Anyway, I was ‘Social Chair’ (surprise) and I would throw the parties. Everyone would call me ‘Mike’ – I never called myself that. I just went with the flow. Call me whatever you want; just don’t call me ‘Mikey’ that’s reserved for my mom and people really, really close to me.
So one night my friend Jamie (another confusing name, but she is a girl) was over and she’s reading a Facebook message from an old college friend of mine who titled the note, “WHAT’S UP MIKE?”
“Who the hell is Mike,” she asked? “That was my straight name in College,” I told her. She started hysterically laughing and so did I – it was a great moment. The kind where you think you just might pee in your pants.
Since then it has been one of those really funny jokes so when Katrina got momentarily confused regarding the baseball hat, which I have always liked wearing even when I had Farah Fawcett hair (may she Rest In Peace) I thought I would share the joke.
Now, ‘Mike’ would never, ever get upset that his t-shirt was covered in wine, right dude? But ‘Michael’ would and he definitely has lots of Tide pens at home.
Michael, I love that 'gait' of a walk of yours in the opening credits! It oozes confidence and style, and you're so so cool! Hope to run into you in South Beach, would love to hang out with you,...hope there's many more Miami Social episodes next season,
Kisses,
Sandra
Mike - you are great! Just be true to your heart, and you will never go wrong.
Michael, I just love, love, love you! You are a very special person, do not change, you are perfect as you are. You are the heart and soul of the group, keep smiling.
Michael,
I think your great! You are my favorite. You crack me up. Your smile and personality is priceless!
Take Care!
Michael! You are hilarious! I met you a few years back at the Delano after you wrote something up for one of the artist's I was representing at the time and you have not changed! I absolutely LOVE your sense of humor!
Okay, so here's my take on the baby...I agree with what you said about putting the pacifier in the red velvet cake...I had a WTF moment when I saw that. "Jur going to be a Daddee,
I swear that's what I thought. Sick right? I know but that chick is loco.
Keep up the great work! And best of luck to you in your writing! Stay cool!
omg, michael, i just have to say... i started watching this show bc i live in miami... and it was painful to watch for the first few episodes. everyone is so boring. but you are a real person, and in this diego date episode, you are totally winning me over and making this show worth watching.
xoxo
Michael, I think you're the coolest one on the show. You and Maria are Partners in Crime. So very down to earth!! From what I can see you're a very good friend, confident and cool. If it wasn't for you, no one would punk Ariel, try and get Katrina a date(she's GORGEOUS BTW & I think she and Ben will end up together), and get lasik with Maria!
<3 off to watch the show!! cuz ur ass is making me laugh!
Mike,
you call yourself an entertainment journalist? when do you work and who do you work for? i've never come across any of your articles, and what's more is that Nicky Hilton WAS once married, but briefly to that balding guy when they eloped in VEGAS. she looks like a drag queen, and so does her skanky sis!
Michael I just LOVE you on the show and also Hardy and Katrina your three are the best. I would love to be your friend any time and you are so HOT. Maria is also a great woman on the show, but the show is the BEST with you on it, love to chat with you some time keep up the great work and hope to hear from you soon.
Gary
You are sooooo hilarious! When you were talking to Katrina about "Mike" I was seriously belly laughing and felt like I was there with you guys. Totally something I would be doing with my friends. You are such a smart-ass too...and I love it! As for Lina.....my vote is that she was never pregnant at all. I think she faked it.
So glad you are on the show....it would be pretty dull without you!
BRAVO EXECS: If you are listening, give Micheal his OWN SHOW!!! That is, if he'll have you! Micheal, you are a gem. If I had a friend like you like Katrina does, every moment would be grand. You are a riot and so tactfully spoken. Love, love, love you. I need one of you!
Mikael!
I love your commenting about Georges blinking when he got the "baby news" ... SO TRUE! AND the Tide pen killed me! Love you lots! I think Ariel needs to meet Mike ASAP, btw! Thanks for the laughs! :-)
xo
Love you. Love Austin. Love you hangin with Maria. Just promise me that the season doesn't end with you and Ariel tearing each others clothes off a la Bruce and Cybil on Moonlighting. I couldn't take that. Hope we get to see Gonzalo's friend.
I LOVE YOU!! I am surprised you did not mention the action shot of Hardy leaping into his car. I love him too, but it was a bit much for even Hardy to pull off. Was he preparing in the scene w/Trixia & the personal trainer?
You are so fabulous. I laugh out loud until I am crying. More, more, more blogs from you, PLEASE!
mike....i are a true representation of a gay male in the US.. I think you are so cute and funny.. One thing i need to say is that your trying to hard with looking for a boy... Just stop trying to look... when you stop it will magically come out. I didn't like when u said something like " I need to find somebody beautiful inside and out, just like me!!!! Baby don't turn into Ariel... your to cute to be saying those things.. When people are naturally beautiful they don't need to be telling them selves.. . im sure you'll find the great guy...miami is full of them... try latino boys if you really want passion in your relationship
I love love love gay Michael!!!! I want me some gay Michael every day. U need to have ur own show baby.
if you ever need a new good friend e-mail me.....
Thank you for being YOU. "Michael" keeps me coming back every week. I can totally relate to the straight/gay personality conflict but without a doubt the woman in us always makes for better television. Keep on laughing. PS...love the Mercedes.
You are the only reason I keep watching the show! You are fantabulous!
Oh, and my answer is C. I thought that from the very beginning before she "lost it".
Michael you are hilarious. You have a wonderful personality and seem like you would be a great friend to have. I see nothing but huge success in your future.
Your so my type of gay man to hang with... Love you and hey remember that when your having man troubles or ups and downs don't drink you'll only wake up the next day depressed... xoxo
Oh MICHAEL!! ur the funniest every I love you being on the show, well you and Maria! Ill be on the look out for a good Jewish gay boy for you and ill try to pass it on! Ill be sure to facebook some "ZBT (Zeta Beat Tau) boys" thanks for that tip. P.S watch out I heard the Kardashian girls are out on the town.
Michael,
you are too much, and I mean that in the best possible way ever. the dual name thing- love it. I wanted to let you in on a little secret. I went to AU, graduated in 200, and the school, while it no longer has a ZBT, does have a new nickname... Gay Jew. and I mean that in the best way too! I would have LOVED to have known you back in the day, lazing around the Mary Gohnorrea Center.. oops, I mean Mary Graydon Center. Maybe no KY Chapel, I mean Kay Chapel for you, but I am pretty sure we could have mustered some kind of friendship... I was the President of Phi Sig for a year, I am sure we would have gotten along very well...
As for the current, dual personality you, you rock. I am sure you will find someone wonderful that has all the qualities you are looking for. & I am pretty sure most people would support a bitch slap, knock out, of full body slam to a certain someone... he's AWFUL and represents everything I HATE about Miami... and Ariel, if you read this, no, I am not ugly. :)
You keep the show interesting. I love your bedroom decor, especially your bedding. Who made the bedding?
Mike or Michael,
YOU ARE THE BEST!!!! YOU ARE SO MUCH FUN TO WATCH! I THINK YOU NEED YOUR OWN SHOW. MUCH LOVE! VALERIE
Can't wait to see you go on a date with Diego...if he is as hot as you are, its gonna be one fine episode
Micheal, Mickael, Mike, which ever you want, you are my favorite. I enjoy every moment when there is an argument all you do is laugh and throw yourself back.(reminds me of me) You are adorable and hope that one day you find that special someone, because with you personality, you will always bring the best out of someone, and hopefully them for you too. Hopefully one day i will see you walk thru my building(THE LOFT) jejejeje
Good luck!!
I THINK YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON AIREL
you can tell you are a writer.......great blog....witty and funny......your my favorite
MICHAEL I LOVE U ATTITURE AND I WILL LOVE TO MEET U SO LET ME KNOW WENT PAPI I DRIVE OVER TO MIAMI JUST TO MEET U.
RUBEN SANJUAN
The main reason I logged on today was to hear your blog on Lina.. lol Love Mike but adore Michael. oh
the answer to the lina thing took that pill she talked about with her mom.
p.s Ariel has nothing on you.. he does not come close
Mike you are my favorite and seems to have a genuine heart.
I love your jokes, you will find love.
without you there would not be a balance, because Ariel, well, that's a whole story.
You and Harvey--are the backbone to this reality show.
you are my favorite, you speak your mind and you do not seem pretenious.
ps. I am a straight black 35 yo female. continue to be you...
Mike is the only one on the show with any sense. (besides Hardy)
I wish him all of the best in love and his charater balances out all the rest of the bull.
I am a straight black female and love Mike, he seems to have a good heart and is a conscious hum being, I welsome his jokes but can see he is a genuine human being.
Hey Michael,
I think you are great, funny an a good friend dont get mad but I love Ariel too. I cant wait to check out your website. I hope you can comunicate through it that is the one thing I dont like about this is that e can comment to you but you are not allowed to comment back to us. Oh one more thing the last episode you said to Marie that Nicky Hilton was not married before but she was. It didnt last long as was anulled
Love Ya Lots xoxoxox
LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU! I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING WHEN YOU TOOK OUT THE TIDE PEN REALLY! ( THERE NO WAY I WILL CONFUSE MIKE WITH MICHAEL CLEARLY MICHAEL UP STAGES MIKE) I WISH WE COULD HAVE MET DIEGO, HOPEFULLY WE WILL SEE MORE OF HIM SOON. WISH YOU ALL THE LOVE
This was my fave episode so far, because everybody seemed really relaxed and themselves, but I really loved you. Too funny!
Also, how did things go w/ Diego? You were so cute when you were talking to Sorah about how you met a friend of hers and were excited to go on a date w/ him.
PS I used to work in the building that you got your LASIK surgery done in. My offices were on the third floor and we would sometimes hear loud noises from the floor above where Millenium is and wonder what was going on up there. LOL.
Well..Michael. Let's just say I love when you laugh on the show, you have a great energy that makes me laugh along with you. Every episode that passes, I have this hope that maybe you and Ariel can somewhat click. Oh well! You and Ariel are my favorites, the gay men keep it entertaining. I love Maria and Katrina as well. I love Maria's accent, and Katrina is a great role model for independent women. As for the 'Lina the Lunatic', I think she is one of those people who if they continually tell themselves something, as false as it is, they will actually begin to believe its really true, and deny any outsiders who doubt them. I also think that she has done this in attempt to keep George around and spending more time with her. She is not quite there mentally, but I'm sure she keeps viewers entertained and we will probably see more of her and her antics throughout the show. I look forward to reading your future blogs.
...oh, and purple is such a fabulous color on you!
Michael/Mike/Mikail...whoever you are, you are fabUlous! I always get a kick out of you...you're so real, so genuine and bring so much to the show. Are you originally from Lawn Guyland (as I like to call it)?
Michael! You are just amazing. I loved how you even came up with a straight name. Funny episode! Anyway Love love you!
I just absolutely love you on the show and on your blogs. I tune in every Tuesday night because I know your humor is going to bring a smile to my face. I know you don't like Ariel or Lina but believe it or not, they make me laugh too with their crazy behavior. They're so dysfunctional, it's too funny. The other guys are a little too serious and uptight but their nice to look at. Other than the Mike/Michael clip, I loved when Maria called you while you were in your car to tell you about her meeting with Ariel. You were hilarious jumping with excitement in your seat awaiting the juicy gossip from Maria. Keep on being you, the only thing that helps with my depression is your sense of humor.
Hi Michael,
You are great!!! I would give my right arm to hang out with you next time I come down to South Beach. I live in Cooper City, say the word and I'll get in my STS and we can dance the night away.
Paige
Hi Michael NOT Mike Lol,
I think your so funny and cute.. Don't ever change your way of being... love you!!!!!
Michael,
I am sorry about my gramer, english its not my first language.
you are by far my favorite, you lough crack me out and your smile make my day and you should find a nice jewish guy, i am sure there is a lot of them in Miami.
I wonder if you have an dvise for me, i am from very religous Jewish family, i came out 4 years ago to my self but i never came out to my family.
I live in DC but my family ilves in Israel, i think they might now but they never confront me accept my two brothers in MD and they cut me out of there lives.
what should i do?
Thanks
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