Cast Blog: #MIAMISOCIAL

A Hair Raising Season!

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Love Life, Shed Light, and the Rest Will Follow

Incredibly Moved

I Choose To Be Me

The Usual Suspects

Man in the Mirror

A Clear Picture

Don't Get It Twisted!

Egos Unmask!

A Lot of Fireworks

What a Ride

Spare the Drama!

A Dreamer and a Fighter

Say My Name, Bitches!

Big Egos and Big Shields

A Little Miracle

All You Need Is Love

Rollercoaster Relationship

I Have A Heart

The Power of the Word

Cutting Up On Lina

Too X-Rated

Going Against The Grain

Crazy Energy

Thinking Big

The Little Lies of Miami Social

Take No Prisoners

A Legend In His Own Mind

Glam Oily Bodies

Work Hard, Play Hard

No Place Like It

Ouch!

Whipped

Proud and Privileged

A Hair Raising Season!

Michael takes you inside the best of the best with his very own Miami Social Awards!

WTF FANS??? DID WE NOT BRING THE HEAT BITCHES OR WHAT? I was burning up after watching that. Actually, I was almost ready to cry. That was sort of an emotional experience for me and all of us ‘socials.’ Our lives, just unfolded, just like that. But I’m not going to sit here (like I suspect Katrina or Maria may) and make you read all these life lessons to pick up from Miami Social. I’m here to have fun. With that said, here is my very own Miami Social Awards:

BEST OUCH! MOMENT

MY hair! I know you are wondering why I did it! I just felt like having more hair. Did it hurt? I don’t know! I was uh; a little shall we say, high? Anyway, it was just one of those little self improvement things like going to the gym or seeing my shrink but hello that out tops any surgeries I have ever seen on Bravo!

BEST A*SHOLE INTERVENTION

Katrina and Hardy trying to knock some sense into Ariel. Things didn’t go as planned – as Katrina called it an “uphill battle.” I just loved when Ariel channels Madonna with that British accent thing: “Some people think I’m obnoxious when they first meet me…”

BEST CANDIDATE FOR A BEAUTY MAKEOVER

LINA: NO MORE WHITE EYELINER! PLEASE! IT’S KILLING ME!!! BEST USE OF SUB TITLES

Lina To George: “You’re going to be a Daddy!”

BEST NON-GUEST, GUEST APPEARANCE

Who the hell was Lina talking to on the phone at the end of the show? Her pimp? I am like so confused! And who the hell is Robert? Yet, another boyfriend? What?

BEST LINA INSULTS TO GEORGE

“Jesus, Uptight Ass!”

“You Don’t How to Be a Man!”

“Dick, Just Dick (DEEK)!”

“You’re my biggest hormone!”

BEST SHOES

Katrina! Show open where she is in that fabulous YSL pump and then she sports that Louboutin when she is showing that pervert Edmundo’s house. Side note: KATRINA please take Lina shoe shopping. I can’t stand the white patent leather shoes anymore!!! HELP US!!!!!

BEST MAKE-UP

Maria, simply because I love her pink Chanel lipstick. I was going to give this to Katrina but she goes overboard – like how is this girls face always done in the Miami heat? I don’t get it!!!

BEST DRESSED

Hardy, but who cares? Who the hell wears suits in Miami??? No seriously that whole James Bond thing was really genius, but I sweat, and not in that way, looking at him. Katrina could win on this one too – tell me how this girl always is decked out. Heels and a pencil skirt – love that scene on the boat.

BEST TEAR JERKER SCENE

When Maria dropped her daughter off at the airport! Then, when she was driving down the causeway, you could just feel Maria’s emotions.

BEST EX MOMENT

Oh my god, remember when Sorah was in the park with George? When she he’s explaining how he called Lina and the phone went into a French speaking country? Well, the look in Sorah’s eyes was so sad. She just looked at George and said, “I don’t think Lina has ever been honest to you and you two bring out the worst in each other.” That was harsh, uh, but true. Of course, the runner up would be when Ben says to Katrina, “ I can’t wait to get your sh*t out of the house.”

BEST-UNINVITED GUEST ME!

Who can forget when I show up with Maria at George’s party and Lina and I have a fight over Jasmine. That was genius. But Lina, herself is a runner up. I still can’t believe she shows up at Gonzalo's apartment while he and Sorah are cooking a romantic dinner!

BEST DOG

I really thought about this one, uh, for less than a minute. AUSTIN !!!!! Best shot of him all season was one I was on the phone with Sorah telling her about Diego and there was this shot of Austin and that cute little face!

BEST EYE ROLL

Hello, I win this. I mean, you remember me planning my birthday party? Afro’s? Blinking things, what????

BEST ‘HARDY PARTY’

Surprise, it was at “the Gans,” when Trixia arrived and grabbed Hardy’s face (like my Jewish grandmother did mine..) and asks, not once, but twice “you like my dress???”

BEST REFERENCE TO MADONNA

My reference was pretty good when I was with Katrina and I was starring at all those dam bracelets and said how “Lucky Star…” But loved when Ariel looks at Hardy’s friend and tells her she looks like Sandra Bernhard and that’s a compliment because she is a friend of Madonna’s! WHAT? FOOL!

BEST EXCUSE FOR NOT GETTING LAID

Katrina! “I’ve been with the same guy for 13-years…” WE GET IT GIRL!!!

BEST ALTER EGO

Oh dude, it’s a tie between “Straight Mike” and “Lina #2”

BEST BESTFRIEND MOMENT

There were a few here! Loved when Maria was holding my hand during BOTH my surgeries. Once, at Lasik and once during my Chia Pet surgery. But, hands down, in the finale when Katrina comes to my house after she signs those divorce papers that was heavy.

BEST USE OF A TEXT MESSAGE

George to Lina: “I’m getting all these text messages saying you had an abortion!” But, that may tie with George writing to Sorah because he needed her after the season finale blowout with Lina and she hits ignore!

BEST OUTFIT STOLEN FROM ‘NYC PREP”

Maria! OMG – who was going to school here you or Anjelika? That was too much the white preppy shirt, the tie and the hot pink lips. Runner up, and I hate having Maria and Lina in the same award, but it’s true, Lina #2 outfit, the plaid cheerleader dress and all….

BEST MOTHER INTERVENTION

I really thought about this one. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my Campins girls. But Momma Campins, she’s gotta let go of Ben. Then of course there is when George’s mom came to town… When she said, “I didn’t raise my son to be broken.” OUCH, that wins.

BEST USE OF A QUESTION

Lina, that girl asks the funniest questions. She created a tie! When in the season finale George asks his Mom what she thinks of Lina and his Mom is well, sort of dumbfounded. “What do you want your mom to say I’m a bitch?” asks Lina. UM YES! Then, I love when she asks George in Episode five, “What do you think I’m a liar?” UM, YES!!

BEST-PERVERTED MOMENT ON THE JOB

“LET ME SEE YOUR CRACK!”

EWWWW, Who was Ariel’s client? That god-awful underwear designer? I mean seriously. OMG, I felt so awful watching that scene. I actually felt badly for Ariel But least not forget, Katrina’s perverted client, Edmundo when Katrina “apologizes” for coming on a Saturday and he says with his wife around, “looking at you always makes me Saturday.” CREEPY.

BEST USE OF FAILING THIRD GRADE MATH

Ariel talking to me at the Gans: “Half the things you write about are 70% not true.”

BEST “WHATTTTTTT????’ MOMENT

Lina takes it again. I was so confused when Lina was laying in bed and tells George “they lost the baby…God didn’t want it for them.” WHAT? Weren’t you just telling your mom that you were going to head over to the clinic and take some pill? GIRL!

BEST “YOU HEARD ME MOMENT!”

Loved when Katrina was trying on those clothes created by another designer for Ariel’s fashion show. When he was going on and on about how fabulous the clothes were and I said: “Maybe you can pull that bullsh*t with Katrina, but don’t pull it with a Queen!”

BEST USE OF SMOKE AND MIRRORS

Hands down, Ariel’s show. Still, I can’t get over this. Didn’t it go something like this: Welcome to the fashion show – only thing is I didn’t actually design the clothes…

BEST MIAMI SOCIAL DEBATE

Me and Ariel going at it over Kim Kardashian. Remember, I call her a reality whore (I am one too, I get it and accept it) but he’s trying to convince me that she is better than that and she does a lot of charity work. I was like what is your point and that’s when I said, “You Can Still Be A Whore And Do A Lot of Good!”

Speaking of being a whore, I have a lot of things to do. I have to go raise funds for www.thestylelabonline.com. Thanks for all your support and watch those re-runs!!!!!

M

Man in the Mirror

Maria counts down the most memorable moments of episode 5.

Drops of my favorite mimosa (champagne and orange juice) on my keyboard, liquid cooling my throat, bubbles having a prolonged party traveling the roller coaster of my throat as if immediately transported in my blood stream that is flowing into my brain, the view of great Los Angeles at my feet from the Penthouse floor of my famous hotel. Breeze is touching my shoulders lightly, sun is warming my bronzing skin. My mind is free after an hour of invigorating yoga at West Hollywood Equinox followed by the no less invigorating Michael Levine's industry breakfast. It is now 3 p.m. on Tuesday in the time of forever. Could it be more perfect?

My mind is holding onto this one thought that had lived in my brain since last week's happenings of my life reinforced by the viewing of the current episode of Miami Social.

A thought about assertiveness ....

Assertiveness is linked to self-esteem and considered an important communication skill. As a communication style and strategy, assertiveness is distinguished from aggression and passivity. How people deal with personal boundaries; their own and those of other people, helps to distinguish between these three concepts. Passive communicators do not defend their own personal boundaries and thus allow aggressive people to harm or otherwise unduly influence them. They are also typically not likely to risk trying to influence anyone else. Aggressive people do not respect the personal boundaries of others and thus are liable to harm others while trying to influence them. A person communicates assertively by not being afraid to speak his or her mind or trying to influence others, but doing so in a way that respects the personal boundaries of others. They are also willing to defend themselves against aggressive incursions. (Wikipedia)

In the fast paced world of todays relationships, more so in Miami, a week is considered to be an anniversary (Michael and Diego's date), 6 years is not enough to get married and have babies (Hardy and Trixia), 13 years is enough to break up (Kat and Ben), 2 years is not enough to establish the basics of respective communication ( Lina and George) and one night is enough to have a walk of shame morning after (=we all have been there, I am sure). All of the above mentioned could have been avoided, softened, lived through and enjoyed so much more if we all were the masters of assertiveness.

Like the birds in the sky in the beginning of episode clouding the sky screaming wildly we get carried away inside our brain when we don't have enough self respect to stop for a second and assess the situation. We yell because we dont know better (Lina and George). We agree nodding when we really should speak up (Ben telling Kat he can't wait for her things to be out of the house). What we should do is start loving ourselves enough to REALLY ask ourselves what is that:" I WANT" and after we answer that question politely, make a statement to the rest of the world of our knowledge and feel accomplished, because that is where success in everything in our lives starts. Respecting ourselves we immediately respect other peoples wishes, desires and aspirations without feeling squeezed, pinched, ultimately defeated because someone has the guts to do what we cant put our mind to. BEING OPEN AND HONEST WITH OURSELVES.

I know this is my lesson for the next few months, and I'm practicing every day. ASSERTIVENESS. I hope you will try that too and let me know how that worked out for you?

Now to the lighter stuff :) Three most memorable moments of the episode 5:

1. The Kat's Inner whore night out. Remember I mentioned that Kat would divert attention of men to me that were brought by Michael to meet her? Well, she did it big time at the very end of the night. Remember when Kat mentions it's HER music playing and she is off to dance? Well, she had to trade in my business card to the video director for the latin music to be put in Aerobat. She muscled it out of me, telling me she had a business client for my photography and she will introduce me to him, meanwhile she negotiated with Ivan (the video director) and latin music being put on the speakers after he pointed at me and asked for my card as a payment. Little did she know we would end up working together on HUGE project called ART OCTAGON that would premier during ULTRA festival in Miami with success.

2. Operation Smile. It always warms my heart to see other people helping others. I wish I was there. I was traveling to see Angelika in Lugano and could not make it to the event. I myself am nursing an idea of a charity helping single mothers to achieve their full potential, once in a while giving ability to let their hair loose and be cared for and have a support system that will make them feel NEVER ALONE.

3. Michael's date. He looks so super cute and vulnerable. You can't help but smile with him. I wish him to figure out his business and have time to work on his relationships. I think he makes a great boyfriend and I wish him that with all my heart.

I hope you guys and girls take my words to heart about being assertive and try to implement it into your lives. If we all start with the man in the mirror ( thank you Michael for this song) life will be better all around for ALL of us.

Until next week...