Don't Get It Twisted!

Find out why Michael isn't so in love with Ariel. Plus, his fave moments of the episode.

Let me get straight to the point. I don’t like Ariel. I used to overlook his grossly inappropriate, juvenile and offensive comments about ugly and fat people. I used to just listen to his insane overrated sense of purpose and know in the back of my head that this is just an insecure formerly overweight child trying to act like an adult. I thought that it was the right thing to do, to support him at his fashion show and put aside our bitch fighting because we were friends. I also thought I would stop pointing out in each episode blog how stupid he really is, because it’s already so embarrassing.

Ariel is really proud of himself because he thinks he pulled off showing us how he can anything he wants to do. And like I said in last night's episode, I was really proud of him for pulling it off, but it was complimenting his avid use of smoke and mirrors.

First of all, who the hell hires a lead designer to make their first ever collection? No one. Because that’s not how it’s done. It would be like me hiring a writer to do my blog (which I suspect Ariel has done because not for one minute could he quote Shakespeare.)

That is the most horrible thing. That you say you are designing a line of dresses and bathing suits and all you have really done is paid some underpaid hungry want to be designer money to make some clothes based on some vague ideas and pages of other people's work you pulled out from a magazine. This you think, is a good example to aspiring fashion designers watching Miami Social? This you think is a good example of how Miami works? This is how you lead by example? This is how you present the city to a national audience?

I mean, watching last night my jaw dropped. There is Katrina in what I swear was the worst dress I have ever seen (it looked like Lina got out her knives too and it looked like something Lina might wear to her secondary job) standing with a crumpled piece of paper in her hand with some BS speech and then she announces that she is actually not wearing a dress designed by Ariel (um, at his own show that she is announcing!) but by that of his lead designer. WHAT ??? WHAT ???? WHAT ????

This is what I mean by smoke and mirrors, if you aren’t paying attention to the details you get caught up in that clap track.

His comments aren’t funny.

Here are a few that have irked me:

“My business plan is actually mathematical in numbers…”

“Doctors are like dentists, right?”

“Bill Gates the Macintosh guy,

”Get the fat girl out of table”

“Hardy I admire you, you even talk to ugly people”

I don’t want friends like this in my life. We all need friends to elevate our minds, be kind and respectful and be there for us on screen and off screen.

When Ariel stops living a life of dillusion and starts acting like an adult,  I’ll think about catching up with him. Until then, girl it’s ‘ova.’

Now let me get on with what was hot, hot, hot this week:

- Lina asking George: “Do you think I’m a liar?” Um, yes? I mean WTF you crazy bitch! You ran around Miami telling people you had an abortion so you could get George's attention? Are you kidding me? And then you go in the bedroom to screw away your problems? Just like that? Like saying you had an abortion and didn’t is so low down dirty. Trixia got it just perfectly when she asked Hardy, “What the f*ck is wrong with that girl?”

- Sad: When Trixia explained her miscarriage. I got upset there for a minute because this is a girl who really does want babies. I know I have poked fun at the way she demands them from Hardy as if he could pick up a few at the nightclub, but deep down inside, she was in pain and she shared. -

Inner Whore: That guy at the club thought I was straight and a swinger? When I brought him over to Katrina, he said, “Your boyfriend wanted me to meet you...” Then Katrina replies, “He plays for the other team…” But if Katrina wanted a threesome, I’d be down for uh, watching…

Don’t go there with me about the t-shirt. It’s a Sonia Rykiel number and I love her stuff.

- Date with Diego: Not so much, huh. First of all I was freaking mortified we were wearing the same outfits, How freaking awful is that? I mean WTF??? This is one problem being gay – looking the same is a freaking nightmare. I’m sorry I am never going on a date again without knowing what the other guy is wearing.

- Grossest Moment of Miami Social Yet: Ariel telling us he is a ‘tiger’ in bed. Now that is vomit-inducing.

- Offensive moment of last night: Ariel asking me if Diego has a “green card?” Like, how rude? And I tend to bet that 99% of the guys he sleeps with don’t have a green card.

- Best Line of The Night: When I was talking about the ‘collection’: “Maybe you can pull that bull*hit on Katrina, but don’t try it with a Queen!” YOU HEARD ME!

- That moment of startling reality. I really am losing my hair. Well, semi lost now, because I dabble with some changes. We will get into it next week.

Speaking of the season finale, brace yourselves. It’s dramatic. You may need a tissue box. I want to thank you all for reading this blog and being fans of the show. I read all of your comments and they are amazing and kind.

Until next week,


I Choose To Be Me

Maria reflects on the season, and offers some words of advice.

Please show me a funny movie. After watching the finale of Miami Social I wanted to weep. Weep so hard that wolfs on an imaginary moon would hear me and come play with me and we can make it into a positive experience instead of the earth shattering, walls sweating in tears, give me 11 pills to take all at ones to kill myself, sweet one.

In one of the previous comments on my blogs a "viewer" asks if that is at all possible to be positive and assertive when life is a total mess and you dont see light at the end of the tunnel. My answer is yes. This is one of the two ways you can work this situation. One we all know. A lot of people follow quitting for real route. And I dont blame them. It is an easier way out. We all are going to die one day. I'd rather die knowing I tried to make my life enjoyable first. Another way (BETTER FOR ME) is to stay positive. To learn to twist your attitude around (it's all in your head, trust me) is by doing things that make us want to smile and that change our moods to the right direction. It's that simple and physical. To try and try and try and try and try. I promise there is always sun after the rain. The same viewer asks if that would have really helped if someone was there to tell me to be positive and assertive and pat me on shoulder in my harder days?

The answer is YES YES YES. I cant stress enough how important it is to have a support system. Please go out there to cafes, libraries, clubs, just go for a walk in a park, join your local photography club (pick a club for the hobby you have),  put an advert online on dating site, reconnect with your friends that live nearby. Do ANYTHING to start communicating with people and build friendships. Go do fun things together that will help you bond and become better friends. Then in the moment when u feel your throat is tightened by fear and all you can think of is that roof of that building across from yours and flying down like a bird if only for 1 minute until you hit it hard, when you feel your heart squeezed with unexplainable turmoil and the need to flush it out of your chest cavity you can reach out to your friend, stalk their doorway if needed and get that pat on shoulder and help. Sometime when your friend feels low and u want to cheer them up by taking them to new art exhibit or buying them a glass of champagne and share, you inadvertently pick your own spirits up.

Having friends is all around good. For you and for them. I am experiencing highs and lows a lot even now and I am far from where I see myself on life's map. It does not however stop me from enjoying myself in everyday simple things. I do still feel lonely and it's even worse knowing Angelika is far away in school. My cats warm my bed when I come home alone after party or a long photo shoot (to answer numerous questions about where you can see more of my work go to my website and there are times when I want to "hang my chaps" and just give up. But I am not letting myself. I feel like I always can go for that later, if ever.

I choose to dream big, do my yoga every day, cycle in gym instead of shrink visits, work on my fine art and have my assistant busy with organizing my jet set travels all over the globe plotting the world take over that's OH SO SWEET and hey everyone can enjoy this ride with me! I choose to be me. When I am on a roller-coaster at amusement park, the one that scares the sh*t out of everyone - baby strapped around me and in for a ride that might make their pants wet, I am envisioning myself getting an Oscar on stage in a beautiful gown and you know what I feel? JOY and overlwelming heart warmth , not fear of the construction falling down and my insides splattering on metal railings of it. Power of visualization takes us to incredible heights. TRY IT. Tell me how it works for you.

I feel like there is never going to be a boring 100% calm period in our lives. I am learning to feel grateful for challenge. Whether it is in our jobs or personal relationships. Challenges and difficulties meant to make us grow. Our souls and our hearts. I feel it's not about what the problem is, but how you deal with it. So you learn. Learn to appreciate it and embrace it.

I feel for everyone (my friends) on the show. I feel for Lina and George, they are trying and this is admirable. I wish there was someone to REALLY help them figure it all out. I wonder if we can fully UNDERSTAND each other. I felt frustrated numerous times in my life and relationships where I felt I was from Venus and they were from Mars (book by John Gray) and I really wanted to talk to them using language we both would fully understand. I still do not know if that in fact is a possibility. I am also learning there is not ONE truth — mine of-course, but many. As many as there are people involved in one particular argument (reading my friend's autobiography and learning it on the fly). I wonder why I had to meet this guy just now and not 15 years ago when the realization of multiple truths existence would have saved me so many tears (hey I could use them to add on to the ocean's salt, so global warming would not be a real threat :).  Now I also wonder if I can actually implement this thinking in my life??? Can you ??

I feel for Katrina. I have been asked if I am jealous of her and if that is why I pick on her. I dont think i am jealous. It's just my habit of calling people out on their BS (or what I think is BS) when I see it peek it's ugly face out from under the life's regularity. My kudos for Kat's growing experience. Hey when I was 28 (like Kat now) I made a bunch of mistakes too, that are painful to think of, and boy I am not sure I would want them to be documented in areality TV based way. I really wish more of what's REALLY happening in Kat's head and life was out there. It's a far better learning experience for everyone viewing THAT, then something you can only see when u dig an inch deep.

I feel for Michael. He would do so well just being born a girl in 1950s. He would make an amazing housewife with talent to turn into that bitch in bed and glamourpuss on man's hand at the dare events of the year. But he is born in male's body) hot one albeit :) with receding hair (he is working on it and dont u dare to blame him for it, and PLEASE dont tell him to just shave his head, he will cry in response and hate you forever : ) and he has an amazing six pack. He is smart. And a very talented writer and soon to become a very successful business entrepreneur. I wish for the right investor to cross Michael's path and for the style lab online get wider audience! With the right team put together(in place) and passion (in place) and right investment (?) it will grow to become successful business of helping others to be better themselves.

I feel for Trixia because she can join the "my boyfriends is an asshole" club and that is not where we all want to be. I wish for Hardy to stop playing host in his own life and take charge of it and go for what he wants rather then trying to satisfy other people's needs only and then finding himself unhappy with the way it makes him feel. TRAPPED.

I feel for Ariel but u know what? He will be just fine. Because money can always buy you another session with shrink. And money is what he says he has. So all I can give is peck on a cheek and pat on shoulder and Ariel you can always call me for that :)

I feel for Sorah and wish her to let go. I know how hard it can be and I do not know if that is at all possible. Especially when you live in the same building. But I am sure sooner or later things will settle down in her heart and i am sure that will be the right choice.

I read in LA times this week in interview with Criss Angel: "When we're kids, we sit there and play with mom's brush and pretend it to be an airplane, because we're able to suspend our disbelief. But as we get to be adults, society tells us that's wrong and we have to conform." Please don't ever conform.

We are still here - IT IS SOMETHING. Here is my order for you from the menu of life - MAKE IT COUNT! Check back on me often on me on my website I have fallen into habit of blogging about what had happened in my life and what I am going through and for some of you it can work as an inspiration to go and get it ! I need your support as much as you need mine. Together we can make this world spin! That's what friends are for.