Cast Blog: #MDD

Purity is Delicious

An 'I Love Mary' Episode

Mary McDonald on Jewels

A Bravo Special in the Making

Jeffrey Looks Back on Season Two

Martyn Wraps Up the Season

Martyn on the Perfect Pub

Lindsay Lohan is a Dream Client

2013: The Year of JAM's Collaborations

Lindsay Lohan on 'Million Dollar Decorators'

Outfits Make the Episode

Exuding the Elegance of the Era

Publication vs. Posterity

This Old (Huge Mansion) House

Single and Awkwardly Embracing It

Stacey Dash Is Fabulous

Grey Days

Martyn and Stacey Dash Get Creative

Mary, Monika, and No Sense of Humor

The Joy of Collaboration

Pillow Fights and Granny Chairs For Ross

Martyn and Michael

Martyn's Not My Frenemy

Jeffrey Alan Marks: Master Chef

Kathryn Does Dallas

Martyn, Mary, and India Inspiration

Speaking Kathryn's Language

On an Eye Roll

Dropping Jeffrey's Type-A Personality

As the Botox Brow Strains

Kathryn Swears (and She's Sorry)

Chewbacca Versus Monty

Tamara Mellon's Sex Pit

JAM's Favorite Projects

Only Good Clients

Just Say No

In a Blink

Live, Love, and Decorate

The End of the Road

Making Frankenstein

A Little R&R

Purity is Delicious

Our Associate Editor ponders the taste of symmetry, and other items from this week's episode.

This episode we see Mary serving a bit as her own client. The lady to please here is Mary -- though isn't it Always. Mary needs some imagery for her book, but photos are not preferred. Instead she'd like a spirited illustration that captures her real vibe.

I'm not sure that's possible, considering how many layers there are to the Mary McDonald onion and because sketches steal your soul and all (or is that photos I can never recall). But her friend Konstantin is on board and after a meeting where they briefly yell at each other about returning calls (Mary weasels out of it by mentioning that he looks thin, a trick that always works), she heads to his house.

(It's worth noting that Mary is extremely late to her sitting, and Kathryn is also an hour and a half late to her job. You know what they say, "if time is money theses folks have enough to pay for it.")

Anyway when Mary arrives things are really kicking. She's attempting to steal his Marie Antoinette breast bowl, maintaining a weight that's one level above anorexia, fidgeting and questioning the "devil babies" the artist has previously sketched -- really being the perfect model. So this is bound to work out. JK! It does and her sketch looks fabulous -- even if the caricature version could be president of the Junior League.

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I look good.

Tell me fellow viewers, when you imagine MLB at breakfast is it like it was in this episode? In your mind was he sitting, casually draped in a silk rope, chest hair in view, surrounded by hydrangeas and crystal plates talking to Joe Francis?

I had to pause it to double check, but it was in fact just like my dreams.  

After promising his pooch Mexican treats (which are what exactly?), he heads to Mexico to straighten things out at Casa de Francis.

And despite the scenic setting, things are awry. Dead flies are cock-blocking the sexy. Symmetry is being held back, holding back purity, and therefore deliciousness. It's possible Jen Aniston could be sitting on birds--t. After Joe Francis gets into major tizz territory (that anger and Mexican sun had him sweating) Matryn had to fix the ball arrangement and this slapdash staff quick.

Of course he did, after a whirlwind tour through the sweeping mansion and some pillow fluffing demonstrations. The staff was ironing rugs the right way before you could say "Girls Gone Wild," and all was as it should be for his impending wedding.

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Missed a spot

Meanwhile the JAM boys are trying their darndest to find a gym that lives up to their immaculate taste. CrossFit has proximity, but not pretty on it's side, and since no one is going to hire a fatty (JAM's words), he's got to keep working out there. The solution -- fix the gym's showers.

I have to, have to address the idea of bathing at a gym. I love you Jeffrey Alan Marks, I do. I think you're brilliant. I have dreams about your kitchen wallpaper, but the chances of me ever bathing at a gym are so low it's impossible to see them without a microscope. For serious, no way. Never. Maybe my hovel of a gym isn't as luxurious as other places (we have a nice chalkboard calendar though), but I'm not getting into tub there unless there is a fresh plastic liner every time I arrive, and that's actually even more disgusting now that I say it out loud.

JAM puts one of his Demetra gals on it, but unfortunately she's not moving up to Number 1 status until she gets the square drain from Waterworks he requested. After some cajoling and some personal demolition (and thankfully many, many shots of shirtless Jeffrey and Ross -- which take a moment to look at their photo diary -- it's precious), it works out and looks really, really fab. I pine for those navy blue penny tile floors. Perhaps if my gym had them, I would be spending less time convincing myself that a doing YouTube workout videos is enough physical fitness. Kudos JAM, Ross, and D2!

Nathan only briefly graces us with his cherub face as he attempts to outwit Mary for a pair of studded stools and convince her of the splendor of her painting from Konstantin. I too love the sketch but I do recommend he not ink it permanently on his back. (One of the pugs perhaps, but not the whole affair.) Also stop bringing your dog to Mary's, apparently people are doing that a lot.

Next week Mary has a problem client (those floors are phenomenal, cool it lady) and Martyn gets to play in the Jimmy Choo founders sex pit (yay!), are you excited or what? Also leave a comment. How many commodes is too many commodes? Methinks seven! Would you bathe at your gym?

A Bravo Special in the Making

Kathryn reflects on the super fast season -- and the surprise engagement.

How could eight episodes already be over? The season has flown by.

It's been an amazing season with my beloved cast members all being a little out there, to put it mildly.

In this episode I finish Lindsay's house in the Hollywood Hills, making her a princess cottage that will help her to feel safe!

Martyn continues with the British pub for his sister. There are naturally a few hike ups on the way, but leave it to Martyn to pull it off.

Mary works on her own house, and, with the help of Nathan and Konstantine, she has a triumph on her hands.

We all end up at Mary's for the reveal of her new decor and the episode ends with one of us getting engaged. . . Who could that be? Do I see a wedding in the French country side next summer?

I see a Bravo special in the making. . .

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