The Semi-Gloss

Our associate editor ponders shoes as art, Willy Wonka, and speaking and eating with the dead.

Jun 22, 2011

Hello my little Herbs de Provence. How goes it?

This week we find Mr. JAM and Ross attempting to enjoy a nice leisurely dinner, when Ross gives Jeffrey a small assignment -- lighting the grill.

I love you, but don't ever make me do that again.

JAM has some issues. He's not much of a chef. He says he pretty much starved before Ross came along (Thank you so much for saving our malnourished decorator Ross. We imagine a courtship filled with you setting small plates out and Jeffrey tentatively eating from them, like a deer). But Ross' birthday is coming up and Jeffrey wants to "Jamie Oliver up" -- and we don't mean fixing America's school lunch problem. So, JAM does what any of us would do when we want to cook for our loved one's birthday: he orders takeout from a place Ross has never been to before and throws out the boxes he hires James Beard award winning chef Suzanne Goin to teach him make an onion tart.

After learning the ropes of doubling a recipe (cook it twice and stack the tarts together) Jeffrey enlists sweet Demetra to help him create the dish at the beach house he's using for the fete. Whilst Blackberrying the pair struggles with cut onions and oven temperatures (to have been on the receiving end of that phone call, I probably would have said crank it to 600 degrees but I am very cruel, mostly because I was not invited). in the end the tart is perfect and Ross is floored -- though that might have been for Ireland's white frock.

Success! Happy birthday Ross!