The Semi-Gloss

Our Associate Editor ponders the presidency, hypnotists, and the proper cup size for Kathryn Ireland.

Jun 8, 2011

Over at JAM Inc, three years of work are coming together at the La Jolla home helped design. Pause and look:

Yup. I would have just called a spade a spade, put an air mattress down, and gone for lattes but the Jamster brought in $3 million worth of furniture (including some tufts chairs that had our Senior Editor convalescing with joy).

Things are going great. Chessie their golden retriever is there hanging art. Jeffrey wore some rad driving moccasins. The bed is missing (OK, not great but Ross lays the smackdown because "nice is for ice cream" -- but what does that mean for gelato, Ross? How do you treat the gelato?).

Then the clients show up in the middle of the process. And the reaction is anything but effusive. They hate the rug (if it is non refundable I'll take it boys).

Even the baby is critical!

Thankfully once it's actually finished the clients adore it. And thank G-d, because as Jeffrey admits, his job is more stressful than the president. That's why Obama hired Michael Smith he couldn't handle the pressure! (And look at what that guy did to the Oval Office.)

But perhaps the greatest measure of Jeffery's self proclaimed genius is his ability to convince the client why they didn't need bigger sinks

"Wealthier people have smaller sinks because they don't get their hands dirty."

This explains why I have to wash my hands in the bathtub nightly. I'm so poor.

Now to Mary Budget-Be Damned McDonald. According to MM the divorce will be accessorized. Just because the real estate agent, the divorce lawyer, and the client, say cut back, it doesn't mean one should. I'll let MM speak for herself:

"Sometimes you have to teach people what they think they want."

Yes. And what did Mary teach Kendra: that she wanted the bed in the corner; that she wanted a man named Lavin wear a chic instillation outfit and jam out to "When Love Takes Over"; a full array of nearly extinct creatures, antlers, plaid pillows, etc. Kendra if you need a permanent house guest I am completely available.