The Semi-Gloss

Bravotv.com's Associate Editor shares her own High Point and purple lemonade experiences.

Jul 8, 2011

And now we go from the land of many tables, to the only one that matters: Jeffrey and Ross’ quest to attain a John Dickinson table from the San Francisco Antiques Show. The boys are on the hunt for the perfect table, and after a few Jetsons and Cleopatra options, they finally find the Holy Grail -- a stone-footed table worth say $16,000. Not too shabby.

The catch is that they can't bid until the morning, and knowing how these boys like to get suited up, I was worried lateness might play a factor. And surprise! It did, meaning their friend (friend?!) Suzanne Tucker snagged the table first. After some straight talk express, Tucker bended gently to the boys pleas and the table was theirs. I was seriously shocked she gave in so easily, but if you had the chance to bring a smile to Jeffrey Alan Marks' face, wouldn't you?

The troubles came back at the homestead, when the boys golden retriever proved to be little help during the install. That breed is notorious for having terrible spatial relations so I'm not sure why JAM thought she would have any useful commentary on which way the rug should face, but I guess he expects her to have learned something in the years of living at JAM HQ.

After Ross fails to balance the large breakfast tray filled with goblets of coconut water on the table, it seems it's fated for a life as a side table, but it's still a life in the magnificent sun room, so all is not lost.

Next week is the season finale, and I'm all verklempt about it. I'm wholly unprepared to live in a world without this show. Until we meet for our final moments, tweet about your favorite decorators, and leave me your hotel horror stories in the comments.