The Semi-Gloss

Our Associate Editor ponders the proper time for an Edible Arrangement, the design lessons from Taco Bell, and decorating with your ex-boyfriend.

Jul 5, 2011

Hello my little London-ites,

Pour yourself a spot of tea and sit down for a tour through the shopping in foggy old England. Or if you’re more Mary's client Dru, unwrap a Gordita Crunch and prepare to learn a bit about decorating.

We open with Kathryn and Jacqueline packing for the Ireland's trip to London. She’s off to decorate the home of a former flame so obviously making room in the suitcase for her fur hat and leather pants is a must. Unfortunately the leather pants look better on Jacqueline, so they must be sacrificed to the greater good. I think this wardrobe arrangement is going to work out though, when Ireland and her future Mr. are getting off of the plane and Jacqueline shows up to pick them up at the airport wearing the pants, she’ll surely meet a future boyf as well. Knowing this is exactly how this will work out the ladies toast because it is “always cocktail hour somewhere in the world.” Amen to that.

On to decorating related matters, Kathryn is across the pond decorating for a former boyfriend So You Think You Can Dance judge Nigel Lythgoe James. We don’t get a lot of information about James background, except that he loves 1920s furniture and is handsome. Kathryn’s looking to give his home a look that will please the ladies -- herself included. Kathryn’s handiwork looks pretty great, but she seems to think her work will never be done -- because “I just want to marry James and live here.” I kinda hope this works out for these crazy kids. Someone’s got to ensure Kathryn doesn’t eat her dog’s ashes and keep those boys out of the pool.

Meanwhile, the other Briton is also home in England, shopping for online sale site One Kings Lane. Martyn needs to assemble about a 100 items to fill out a phenomenal sale. However, his idea of “discount” still needs to be up to his rigorous “delicious”-ness standards, so there’s lots of kerfuffle over ice buckets and un-upholstered chaises. Eventually, after Martyn wears many hats, the gang manages to come to a consensus and Martyn even manages to snag a tray for Elton John (which corrals his candles from being in the wind, ELTON JOHN JOKE). Hoorah.