The Semi-Gloss

Our Associate Editor ponders the taste of symmetry, and other items from this week's episode.

Jun 14, 2011

Tell me fellow viewers, when you imagine MLB at breakfast is it like it was in this episode? In your mind was he sitting, casually draped in a silk rope, chest hair in view, surrounded by hydrangeas and crystal plates talking to Joe Francis?

I had to pause it to double check, but it was in fact just like my dreams.  

After promising his pooch Mexican treats (which are what exactly?), he heads to Mexico to straighten things out at Casa de Francis.

And despite the scenic setting, things are awry. Dead flies are cock-blocking the sexy. Symmetry is being held back, holding back purity, and therefore deliciousness. It's possible Jen Aniston could be sitting on birds--t. After Joe Francis gets into major tizz territory (that anger and Mexican sun had him sweating) Matryn had to fix the ball arrangement and this slapdash staff quick.

Of course he did, after a whirlwind tour through the sweeping mansion and some pillow fluffing demonstrations. The staff was ironing rugs the right way before you could say "Girls Gone Wild," and all was as it should be for his impending wedding.

Missed a spot